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PsychoPanda

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PsychoPanda

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 October 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 142
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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PsychoPanda's page activity

Visits<b>jgriff79</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 1:56pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 2:33pm<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 11:50am<b>Mackay92</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 5:24pm

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PsychoPanda's favorite FMLs

Today, whilst vacuuming, I stupidly decided to vacuum the bathroom drain to see what would happen. Turns out it will cause stinking septic water to get sucked into the machine and spew all over the walls, ceiling and vanity. It also causes the vacuum cleaner to stop working. FML

#21445713
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9316) - you deserved it (32681)

On 07/22/2015 at 10:32pm - misc - by sucked_in - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend didn't break up with me, but his mom did. FML

Today, while reading my girlfriends kid's a story, her daughter started pouring a tiny watering can on my head. When I asked her what she was doing, she said, "Watering your head so your hair grows back". I'm twenty-seven. FML

#21437640
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23901) - you deserved it (2080)

On 07/06/2015 at 10:21pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

#21428778
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20397) - you deserved it (12407)

On 06/19/2015 at 9:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my long-distance boyfriend arrived, took off my bra and told my boobs, "I missed you guys", then took off my panties and said, "Hey buddy" to my vagina before saying he missed me to my face. FML

Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML

Today, I went to the dentist for the first time in years. His first comment upon inspecting my teeth: "Meth. Hell of a drug." FML

#21395729
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27866) - you deserved it (10049)

On 04/18/2015 at 12:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to have a cervical biopsy. The doctor said I would feel slight cramping as she scraped cells from inside the cervix. I guess by "slight cramping" she meant I would shit, throw up, and then pass out. FML

#21395495
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31345) - you deserved it (2118)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:15pm - health - by khaoslife - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML

#21394468
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32402) - you deserved it (4930)

On 04/16/2015 at 1:04am - intimacy - by Evra (woman) - United States

Today, my son invited me to his first standup comedy gig. I accepted, only to later suffer through an hour of the worst jokes I've heard in my entire life. It was so bad, he made Dane Cook look like a comic genius, and I had to resist heckling him. Hours later, I still feel vaguely suicidal. FML

#21392908
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26450) - you deserved it (5144)

On 04/13/2015 at 11:23am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I assumed since we live together that he meant marriage. I was wrong; the next level is me jacking him off with my feet. FML

#21069326
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51006) - you deserved it (6714)

On 02/23/2014 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was chilling out with my friend in a parking lot, when a police officer came up to the vehicle and suspiciously asked what we were up to. My friend sarcastically said, "Uh, doing drugs? Planning a drive-by? Haha!" We soon found ourselves in the back of a cop car. FML

#21067749
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36865) - you deserved it (17223)

On 02/21/2014 at 4:37pm - misc - by Cuntface McGee (man) - Romania (Cluj)

Today, I walked into my house with a couple of friends and I saw my girlfriend doing laundry. I jokingly asked her if she had time to do a load of mine as well. She scoffed and said, "Yeah babe, I'll gladly do your laundry... The same day you learn to wipe properly." FML

#21058908
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24061) - you deserved it (51070)

On 02/13/2014 at 7:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML

#21055858
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45347) - you deserved it (14757) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2014 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by vegas-81 - France

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML



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