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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 January 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3208
  • Number of comments : 338
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Primus's page activity

Visits<b>clawster24</b> - the 11/26/2016 at 1:57pm<b>kkorn051212</b> - the 11/25/2016 at 10:45pm<b>EDGE1095</b> - the 11/04/2016 at 9:27am<b>Pixelatedpotato</b> - the 10/14/2016 at 8:16pm<b>jdonofs</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 9:26pm<b>TrentJ</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 3:55pm<b>BrownBear4297</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 12:46am<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 6:10pm<b>CthulhuSciences</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 3:05pm<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 10:20pm<b>OinkersPig</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 7:07am<b>sodapoppin</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 1:59am<b>yourlifesucks147</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 10:35pm<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 9:59pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 1:15am<b>Brumbler</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 1:07pm<b>frnk</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 6:17pm<b>Rich531</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 9:40pm

Fucked!<b>Pixelatedpotato</b> - the 10/15/2016 at 2:16am<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 3:59am<b>ThePotatoPancake</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 3:53pm<b>Accurate_Vision</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 4:14am<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 9:03pm

Primus's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Primus's favorite FMLs

Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2011 at 5:47pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML

by someone / 07/29/2011 at 2:26pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had to sift through hundreds of pages of legal documents. They were all written in Comic Sans font. FML

by chawlay / 07/05/2011 at 10:04am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I had to sift through hundreds of pages of legal documents. They were all written in Comic Sans font. FML

by chawlay / 07/05/2011 at 10:04am / United States (New York) / Work


by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

by stupiddrunk / 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up late for work, and got sick at work twice; when I got home I discovered I'd paid my cable bill late when I got cut off. When my girlfriend came over, the first thing she said was "Do you know about the graffiti on your car?" FML

by byepolar_bare / 12/19/2010 at 6:29am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to find my 25 year old boyfriend laughing hysterically at his laptop while he made Microsoft Sam say "feces", "penis", and "diarrhea". FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2010 at 2:17am / United States (California) / Love

Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 2:28am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, after waiting all day to get into my favorite band's concert, I got front row. At the end, one of them grabbed my CD and got the whole band to sign it. The last band member tossed it into the crowd, nowhere near me. FML

by lovedontlivehere / 09/23/2010 at 7:49pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML

by urgg / 09/05/2010 at 10:20am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was talking to my crush on MSN. She was telling me how her friend had passed away recently. I had two chats open and accidentally replied, "That's hilarious." FML

by Anonymous / 09/03/2010 at 4:51pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I applied for a job and sent my CV, then realised I sent the example CV I got off the internet. Now they think Bob Brown who lives at 123 Sunshine Street is applying for a job. FML

by Julia / 08/02/2010 at 5:50am / New Zealand (Otago) / Work

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

by Wawawiwa / 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm / Namibia (Windhoek) / Intimacy