About PrimeStarscream : Megatron can go leap off a bridge.
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PrimeStarscream's favorite FMLs
Today, I made quite an impression on my new bin men by forgetting to put the bin out 'til the last minute. I'm sure they enjoyed a good laugh at the woman in shorts, tank top and slippers struggling with a brolly as she slipped and slid while dragging her bin up a hill in a downpour. FML
by Impressionist / 08/25/2016 at 7:17am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to pop the question to my beloved. Perfect lighting, fresh cut roses, a fancy dinner. The restaurant was in on it too. Shame they brought out the wedding-themed congratulations dessert before I actually went down on my knee. FML
by Anonymous / 08/24/2016 at 11:50pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by FoodNeeded / 08/24/2016 at 10:24pm / Russian Federation (Moscow City) / Money
Today, our art teacher told us we will have to build a giant Coca-Cola bottle made of smaller ones as our art project for next week, meant to represent the damage consumerism does to our environment. I think he doesn’t understand we will have to buy tons of Coke to get the bottles needed. FML
by Earthling / 08/24/2016 at 10:20pm / Colombia (Distrito Especial) / Work
Today, I helped my orchestra teacher out and played with a double quartet for a faculty meeting. When it came time to introduce us, he called out the names of the seven other students and then admitted in front of everyone that he'd forgotten my name. I've been one of his top students for 3 years. FML
by theinfiniteend / 08/24/2016 at 7:59pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
by MrLonelyHertz / 08/24/2016 at 7:41pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, my manager challenged me to make two big sales at work. Seeing as customers spend a lot of money in our store, I decided the challenge was fairly easy and accepted. She immediately started stealing all of my sales. FML
by Anonymous / 08/24/2016 at 4:27pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I woke up to my husband's face. That'd be nice if he hadn't turned his eyelids inside out, waiting to scare me. I was scared alright. So scared that I pissed myself and broke my side table falling out of bed. FML
Today, my dad's psycho ex broke in and had a meltdown about how he's dating another woman now. She's barely 100 pounds, yet it took me and my brother several minutes and one smashed shin to finally manage to drag her out of the house, all while my dad called the cops. FML
Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually lose anything. Instead, my mom drunkenly admitted to tossing my stuff away and then punishing me for it whenever she was mad at me. FML
by WellPlayedMother / 08/24/2016 at 2:15am / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw my new pet fish completely missing the food at the bottom of his tank and sucking up the little rocks instead. My last dog died from eating rocks. I think I'm doomed to have insanely stupid pets. FML
by StupidPets / 08/23/2016 at 11:09pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, I was helping my Grandfather to sort through tubs and bins after cleaning out his attic, and I had to move a 50lb bin downstairs. That's when the dog thought it would be funny to block the top of the stairs as I was going down. FML
by Anonymous / 08/23/2016 at 11:07pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, after two weeks of intense detective work, I found out my wife isn't cheating on me after all. She really has just been going out and playing table tennis with her friend like she said. Who the hell even plays table tennis? FML
by Anonymous / 08/23/2016 at 8:40am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my husband removed the TV from our bedroom to improve our sex life. Still no sex because he… Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he played with and named my boobs. Complete with a full… Today, I went home after work with my best friend who I am also secretly in love with. We had a few…