Porcei

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Offline (the 07/28/2015 at 8:25pm)

Porcei

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6832
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Porcei : I am no longer entertained.

Porcei's page activity

Visits<b>tin_cup</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 8:56pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 1:03am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 10:16pm<b>harp</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 11:52pm<b>martini47</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 3:45pm<b>XcRunner72</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 11:11am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 4:04pm<b>AmbienDreams</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 11:19pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 11:02pm<b>nela25</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 1:36am<b>Moota</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 10:31pm<b>ohishkabibble</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 5:32am<b>Dodopy</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 8:31am<b>siddp</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 10:02pm<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 9:11am<b>_ansley_2013</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 2:26am<b>ChancellorW</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 1:11am<b>Trollx</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 2:05pm

Porcei's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of Porcei's badges

Porcei's favorite FMLs

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

by Anonomous / 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm / United States (Vermont) / Animals

Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML

by scared shitless in ohio / 09/25/2013 at 4:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 5:11am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend discovered subliminal messaging. She thought that whispering "you want to shave your beard" under her breath while I'm not looking at her, then denying ever saying it, would eventually make me shave my alleged upper-lip hair FML

by -__- / 08/11/2013 at 12:26pm / Greece (Attiki) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

by Blood on my hands / 08/07/2013 at 1:40am / United States / Animals

Today, I asked my surgeon if I would be having a general or local anesthetic at my upcoming operation. He replied, "General, of course! It's gonna be a slaughterhouse in there!" FML

by pong / 08/06/2013 at 5:59pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Health

Today, I've been getting calls for over a week on my home phone, cell phone, and the work phone at my night shift, in which someone whispers terrifying Satanic-sounding chants at me. I've now found out that the caller is my best "friend". His explanation: "You seemed lonely, man." FML

by newbffswelcome / 08/04/2013 at 2:07pm / Vietnam (Ha Noi) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was washing up in a public bathroom, when I looked up for a second and saw a kid in the mirror staring back at me. I gasped, as I thought the place had been empty. He whispered, "It's time to die." I screamed and ran out, only to hear him burst out laughing behind me. FML

by lights on forever / 08/02/2013 at 4:57pm / Turkey (Istanbul) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting a kid for the first time. She asked if she could watch a movie, so I downloaded Cinderella for her. An hour later, this 10-year-old girl was lecturing me about unrealistic standards of beauty and abusive relationships, and how I suck for liking the movie. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2013 at 1:51pm / Finland / Kids

Today, I went to my father for advice. I've been seeing a wonderful girl for the past month, and I feel terrible about it, because I already have a girlfriend. He said "Kill yourself" and that if I "can't even do that right" then to get out of his house, because he disowns me. FML

by i suck, this i know :( / 07/26/2013 at 6:11pm / Malawi (Blantyre) / Love

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

by notenoughunderwearintheworld / 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Transportation

Today, a haunted house opened up next to my restaurant and they've gotten into the habit of scaring me as I'm cleaning up at night. They stay open for another month. FML

by Wolf145 / 10/11/2012 at 1:28am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 1:01am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

by haunted / 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister was on shrooms. I wasn't able to tackle her before she called the cops to say that her books were trying to eat her face off. FML

by ugh annoying / 07/01/2011 at 3:41am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous