Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Polynomial

Offline (8 hours ago) | Search for a member

Polynomial

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 May 1980 (35 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2915
  • Number of comments : 224
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 38 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Polynomial's page activity

Visits<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 1:47pm<b>imslappy</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 8:37am<b>Kitty_Kat44</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 3:32pm<b>BBeffedmylife</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 3:06pm<b>Sunflower1919</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 12:39pm<b>madmaddi147</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 9:18am<b>DuncanHills</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 5:59pm<b>rebekahlynne</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 1:03pm<b>mmmxr</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 7:56pm<b>Mr_Duckingbergh</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 2:25pm<b>bReLiNg</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 3:07pm<b>Fymlife</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 12:29pm<b>Alex191992</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 10:11pm<b>constipation</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 7:52am<b>myelias25</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 7:39am<b>K_kanaka</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 10:54pm<b>FutureUSM</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 10:33pm<b>_guy_j</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 6:25pm

Fucked!<b>imslappy</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 2:38pm<b>Wutdafuqq</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 3:01pm<b>Eliseopwns</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 7:44pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 2:58am

Polynomial's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of Polynomial's badges

Polynomial's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, my buddy pulled up in his car. I handed him $40, and he handed me a bag. It must have looked like a drug deal, but he was actually just smuggling in the new Pokémon game for me. I'm 22, and a drug deal would probably have been less embarrassing to explain. FML

#20109009
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18736) - you deserved it (7184)

On 10/09/2012 at 12:03pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I came home to my wife practising biting her lip in the mirror. Fuck you, Fifty Shades of Grey. FML

#20096658
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26758) - you deserved it (3501)

On 10/01/2012 at 11:02am - love - by fiftyno (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I helped my friend, who is a slob, move out of my house. I found the source of the funky smell she's been complaining about, under her bed. It was her vibrator. I found it with my bare hands. I had to bleach my hands twice and I still don't feel clean. FML

#20081199
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32236) - you deserved it (2338)

On 09/20/2012 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by MistressSuzuka (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I spent hours crafting a tiara to look like the princess from my boyfriend's favourite game series, Zelda. I sent him a picture of me wearing it, and got the reply: "Sure, that's nice, but you'd be better as Majora." FML

#20079245
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19242) - you deserved it (3168)

On 09/19/2012 at 1:25pm - love - by MT (woman) - Finland

Today, I took my daughter to a pony ride at the fair. I paid to have her picture taken, and when we got home, I emailed it to my mom. She replied, disgustedly pointing out that the pretty little pony was displaying a pretty little penis. FML

#20076226
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19437) - you deserved it (2290)

On 09/17/2012 at 1:16pm - animals - by :,< - United States

Today, I was showing my boyfriend some stuff I bought that day: a new thong and a bag of his favorite brand of peanuts. He was more excited about the peanuts. FML

#20053819
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18894) - you deserved it (4527)

On 09/02/2012 at 9:38am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

#20051425
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12462) - you deserved it (36031)

On 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by pride? what's that? :( (woman) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML

#20024660
524 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11576) - you deserved it (154395)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML

#19910380
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20605) - you deserved it (7056)

On 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out that my wife and two teenage daughters' periods are all one week after the other. I am living in hell almost every single day. FML

#19786572
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35759) - you deserved it (4284)

On 06/14/2012 at 10:54am - misc - by anonymous - China (Jiangsu)

Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML

#19662141
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17890) - you deserved it (3311)

On 05/22/2012 at 12:11pm - love - by boblaj (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, a stuffed ferret was the latest addition to the list of weird items my colleagues have found in our rubbish tip, and that they put in my office. The list also includes explicit fetish porn playing cards, live ammo and dead pheasants, to name a few. I need a new job. FML

#19220268
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19834) - you deserved it (2310)

On 03/05/2012 at 11:36am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Gateshead)

Today, I got home from my 6-week vacation. Apparently, my mum cleaned my room for me while I was gone because my vibrator was neatly tucked into my blanket, next to my pillow instead of being hidden under my bed. FML

#18868671
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28079) - you deserved it (8784)

On 01/21/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Russian Federation

Today, my mother was watching me play Pokémon. She walked over to the TV and pulled the plug before ranting about how shameful it is that her 17 year old daughter plays Pokémon. She then sat down at the computer and started playing Farmville. FML

#18594471
278 comments


FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: