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Polynomial

Offline (the 03/01/2015 at 5:45pm) | Search for a member

Polynomial

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 May 1980 (34 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2280
  • Number of comments : 197
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 37 posted

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Polynomial's page activity

Visits<b>saudor</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 9:53pm<b>stephanyovalle</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 6:07pm<b>erptwerp</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 11:43am<b>littleteapot</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 10:26am<b>eeefxx</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 1:37pm<b>miss_keating</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 1:30pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 1:10pm<b>Timmy1228</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 8:32pm<b>AngryBovine</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 11:12am<b>IGotItFromMyMama</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 9:31pm<b>sam882</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 6:54pm<b>unknownsilver</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 6:12pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 11:28pm<b>letmetalkplease</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 9:57am<b>gingerbeast91</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 4:09pm<b>wasliedtoasakid</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 4:45am<b>buddysboy9</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 5:33pm<b>icekitten14</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 12:51pm

Liked!<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 2:58am

Polynomial's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of Polynomial's badges

Polynomial's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving and a cute guy was staring at me. Flattered, I smiled at him, but he didn't even react. I realized he wasn't admiring me he was admiring my truck. This is the 5th time this week. My truck gets more game than I do. FML

#20622946
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45643) - you deserved it (7152)

On 04/26/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was sent to group therapy. A girl spent twenty minutes telling us horrible details of having been raised incestuously. A side effect of my new medication is yawning. FML

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

#20556322
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51665) - you deserved it (6263)

On 03/23/2013 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I found out that my gorgeous, smart, perfect new boyfriend has an unusual fetish. It doesn't involve me at all actually. Just a Labrador. This is probably a deal breaker. FML

#20550555
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45559) - you deserved it (4594)

On 03/19/2013 at 7:30am - intimacy - by soontobesingle (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It was during a sex scene that intensified the moment. The same sex scene from which emerged a sudden jump-scare. I now have bite marks on my penis. FML

#20547294
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29445) - you deserved it (50840)

On 03/17/2013 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Cliché... or Touché? -

Today, I was cleaning a house. While dusting a rickety nightstand, a drawer fell open and a light-up dildo fell out and turned on. I couldn't figure out how to turn it off. FML

#20541893
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40001) - you deserved it (4439)

On 03/13/2013 at 9:36am - intimacy - by OptimusVader (woman) - United States

Today, thinking my girlfriend had left her little black thong in the dryer to tease me, I sent her a picture of me seductively posing with it. She didn't text back, but a few hours later my 16 year old daughter asked if she'd left anything in the dryer. FML

#20539833
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22554) - you deserved it (48892)

On 03/11/2013 at 5:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39273) - you deserved it (10366)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML

#20502217
174 comments

Today, a male employee at a shoe shop helped me try on shoes. Once I found a pair, I went to pay for them. I was telling the cashier about how great of an employee he was when she told me there were no male employees. A guy with a foot fetish helped me find shoes. FML

#20489969
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38357) - you deserved it (4163)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:21am - misc - by footfetish - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML

#20482358
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51330) - you deserved it (14510)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by yourmainman (man) - Canada

Today, my partner was inspired by 50 Shades Of Grey to try making me orgasm with a full bladder, therefore intensifying the experience. He was right, it was mind blowing. It also made me piss the bed for the first time in twenty-odd years. FML

#20445950
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34010) - you deserved it (6911)

On 01/07/2013 at 8:01am - intimacy - by wetsheets (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML

#20408274
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39765) - you deserved it (14275)

On 12/20/2012 at 12:30am - intimacy - by djl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after therapy for obsessing over every woman who talks to me, all I could think about was how I could seduce my therapist. I think I still need a lot of help. FML

#20133155
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21364) - you deserved it (5308)

On 10/25/2012 at 7:09pm - love - by mental - United States

Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML

#20119984
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31190) - you deserved it (6234)

On 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by L (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)



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