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Polynomial

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Polynomial

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 May 1980 (35 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4242
  • Number of comments : 308
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 40 posted

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Polynomial's page activity

Visits<b>agostina_mc</b> - 7 hours ago<b>EvilLittleGirl</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 5:43pm<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 5:36am<b>21PGreenDay</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 9:35am<b>Gracemonique3</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 9:26am<b>Kitsi</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 4:43pm<b>tipuda</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 1:41pm<b>Anonymous66608</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 8:21am<b>kukumber</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 1:49pm<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 3:29pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 2:38pm<b>_MintyFresh</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 3:02pm<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 4:34am<b>bandaidstations</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 11:06pm<b>applecrusher</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 10:44pm<b>Xsweglord420x</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 5:53pm<b>llamingo</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 2:06pm<b>LittleBastard</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 12:10am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 8:38pm<b>imslappy</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 2:38pm<b>Wutdafuqq</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 3:01pm<b>Eliseopwns</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 7:44pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 2:58am

Polynomial's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of Polynomial's badges

Polynomial's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML

#21308641
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35885) - you deserved it (21167)

On 11/30/2014 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while at work, I really had to pee. Since my break was soon, I decided to hold it as another customer came to my till, but I didn't see she had 3 trolleys full of food. It took ages to scan all of it, and when I left for my break, I had an empty bladder and a wet seat. FML

#21307515
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34139) - you deserved it (7353)

On 11/28/2014 at 12:27pm - work - by I'm so wet, baby - United Kingdom

Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received "foreskin" as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML

#21307273
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30833) - you deserved it (3180)

On 11/28/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by mainlineloser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML

#21301827
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40296) - you deserved it (4725)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:27am - intimacy - by jigglypluff (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my father picked me up from the police academy I'm attending, and got caught speeding. The officer was my drill instructor, and I had to do push-ups on the side of the highway. FML

#21297310
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37332) - you deserved it (4961)

On 11/11/2014 at 10:16pm - misc - by Xx_DEXIJOKER_xX - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I left my dog alone while I went to work, like usual. He usually hangs out in the big bay window that faces the street. Today he decided to steal my vibrator and chew it while sitting in the window. I can only imagine how many people walked by and saw it. FML

#21295699
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33388) - you deserved it (6932)

On 11/09/2014 at 8:12pm - animals - by dogdays (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML

#21292742
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39008) - you deserved it (9689)

On 11/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43679) - you deserved it (13254)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML

#21283230
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36568) - you deserved it (5164)

On 10/22/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by CJune24 (woman) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34319) - you deserved it (16075)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk dirty to my boyfriend, after he promised not to laugh at me. All seemed well, until I heard laughter. It wasn't him, though; it was his family listening from the other room. FML

#21275034
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44021) - you deserved it (7102)

On 10/10/2014 at 3:33pm - intimacy - by TalkDirtyToMe - New Zealand

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, I found a decomposing hamster deep in my closet. My daughter had hidden "Peach" after accidentally killing it and said it had ran away a month ago. And I'd believed her. FML

#21271391
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38006) - you deserved it (4729)

On 10/05/2014 at 5:34pm - kids - by SmellyCloset (man) - United States (California)

Today, on my first day of sailing practice, I managed to sit on a metal cleat. After being admitted to the ER, I was informed that I had two vaginal lacerations that needed surgery. The nurse tried to convince me it was my lucky day, because the hospital café was serving vanilla pudding. FML

#21267748
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42709) - you deserved it (3917)

On 09/29/2014 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I made up an ingenious plan to finally hook up with the guy I really like at a party. Well, the plan itself worked great. Too bad I got so drunk that I used it on the wrong person. FML

#21266978
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25263) - you deserved it (35151)

On 09/28/2014 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)



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