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Polynomial

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Polynomial

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 May 1980 (35 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3493
  • Number of comments : 267
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 38 posted

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Visits<b>Xsweglord420x</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 5:53pm<b>llamingo</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 2:06pm<b>LittleBastard</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 12:10am<b>katachristic</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 11:03pm<b>dan199914</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 1:14am<b>love_struck97</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 7:25pm<b>Jatin_fmylife</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 7:38am<b>amadeclton</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:11pm<b>tylair</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 11:28am<b>madi113</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 12:08am<b>ChloeRattlehead</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 12:30am<b>kikikiwi14</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 10:28am<b>THEGREATKEHOLIO</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 6:50am<b>Cynt3r</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 3:45am<b>melons</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 7:59pm<b>hasooon</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 7:05pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 8:35am<b>danielpreaches</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 3:15pm

Fucked!<b>imslappy</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 2:38pm<b>Wutdafuqq</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 3:01pm<b>Eliseopwns</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 7:44pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 2:58am

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Polynomial's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to come onto my husband to switch things up. When I started kissing and trying to undress him, he pushed me off, saying "What're you doing? Jeopardy's about to start." FML

#20532214
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45266) - you deserved it (6393)

On 03/05/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by married an old man - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend ripped my panties trying to get them off. Not off me, off himself. FML

#20530380
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46399) - you deserved it (5928)

On 03/04/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by nopanties (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

#20523671
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46351) - you deserved it (5774)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39476) - you deserved it (10410)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

#20503125
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40954) - you deserved it (8184)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm - intimacy - by thefriedman (man) - United States (California)

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML

#20502217
175 comments

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

#20497837
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57868) - you deserved it (10945)

On 02/08/2013 at 2:13am - intimacy - by mydadsgonnakillme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

#20494997
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37208) - you deserved it (7013)

On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a male employee at a shoe shop helped me try on shoes. Once I found a pair, I went to pay for them. I was telling the cashier about how great of an employee he was when she told me there were no male employees. A guy with a foot fetish helped me find shoes. FML

#20489969
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38517) - you deserved it (4171)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:21am - misc - by footfetish - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML

#20482358
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51525) - you deserved it (14564)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by yourmainman (man) - Canada

Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML

#20481338
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29175) - you deserved it (3233)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML

#20460160
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35452) - you deserved it (3212)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by Brooke - United States (California)

Today, my partner was inspired by 50 Shades Of Grey to try making me orgasm with a full bladder, therefore intensifying the experience. He was right, it was mind blowing. It also made me piss the bed for the first time in twenty-odd years. FML

#20445950
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37184) - you deserved it (7327)

On 01/07/2013 at 8:01am - intimacy - by wetsheets (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't have a hair tie, so I used a thong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daughter. I threw on my clothes, drove to pick her up, went to the store, and went for ice cream... thong still in my hair. FML

#20438564
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12877) - you deserved it (42293)

On 01/02/2013 at 12:33pm - health - by Embarrassed - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML

#20408274
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39924) - you deserved it (14299)

On 12/20/2012 at 12:30am - intimacy - by djl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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