Polynomial

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Polynomial

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 May 1980 (35 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4679
  • Number of comments : 315
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 40 posted

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Polynomial's page activity

Visits<b>anahii1028</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 6:18pm<b>Lukerocks01</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 1:59am<b>HeavyWeaponsGuy</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 12:51am<b>EcchiShojo</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 6:43pm<b>agostina_mc</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 11:47pm<b>EvilLittleGirl</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 5:43pm<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 5:36am<b>21PGreenDay</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 9:35am<b>Gracemonique3</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 9:26am<b>Kitsi</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 4:43pm<b>tipuda</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 1:41pm<b>Anonymous66608</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 8:21am<b>kukumber</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 1:49pm<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 3:29pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 2:38pm<b>_MintyFresh</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 3:02pm<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 4:34am<b>bandaidstations</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 11:06pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 8:38pm<b>imslappy</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 2:38pm<b>Wutdafuqq</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 3:01pm<b>Eliseopwns</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 7:44pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 2:58am

Polynomial's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

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Polynomial's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday. She had to go to the toilet while there, and when she came back, she was crying. When I asked why, she said "I'm on my period!" and sobbed loudly in front of everyone that we couldn't have birthday sex. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2014 at 8:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up hungover and with $13 stuffed in my bra. I'm not a stripper, and I'm not sure how it got there, but that's the most money I've had on me in weeks. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2014 at 12:47pm / United States (Connecticut) / Money

Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2013 at 7:10am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

by Anonomous / 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm / United States (Vermont) / Animals

Today, I got my period, and had to rush to my parents' bathroom for some pads. They'd put all our wrapped presents in their bathroom. As I was looking, my dad thought I was opening presents and barged in, only to see me with my pants around my ankles. Now he won't stop laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2013 at 12:19pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML

by bastard / 12/22/2013 at 4:28pm / United States / Kids

Today, I asked my lazy daughter to go make her bed. She responded by lighting our garbage bin on fire. FML

by Anonymous / 12/22/2013 at 2:10pm / Israel / Kids

Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

by bleach bleach bleach / 12/22/2013 at 12:22pm / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy

Today, I came home after working on a difficult case. My husband wasn't home so I hopped into bed. My feet felt something and I reached down and picked it up out of the sheets. It was lacy black thongs. I don't own black thongs. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2013 at 2:08am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

by Anonymous / 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm / Egypt / Kids

Today, it was safe to say I started sleepwalking again, after I woke up with a mouth filled with soil and a ravaged plant. FML

by adventurousnightsbutnotinagoodway / 12/17/2013 at 10:38am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Health

Today, my mom got pissed off at my doctor and called him a quack. She did this because he reassured her that I don't show any signs of the mental retardation that she's convinced herself I must have. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2013 at 4:48pm / Croatia (Licko-Senjska) / Health

Today, I saw some servicemen sitting outside a café, and I went over to thank them for their service. They waited till after I was done shaking their hands before they told me they were just actors on their lunch break. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2013 at 3:13pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister brought a guy home while our parents were out. They had sex in her bedroom. I heard everything. The worst part wasn't her stupidly excessive moaning; it was that the moans sounded eerily similar to a cow mooing. FML

by puking now / 12/13/2013 at 7:34pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my cousin started sending sarcastic love messages to me. I replied, with even cheesier lines. Then she rang me saying she was so glad I felt the same way. Turns out she wasn't being sarcastic. FML

by wth? / 12/13/2013 at 10:10am / United Kingdom (Rotherham) / Love