Polynomial

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Polynomial

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 May 1980 (36 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5289
  • Number of comments : 315
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 40 posted

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Polynomial's page activity

Visits<b>ExtremeEncounter</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 8:00pm<b>anahii1028</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 6:18pm<b>Lukerocks01</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 1:59am<b>HeavyWeaponsGuy</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 12:51am<b>EcchiShojo</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 6:43pm<b>agostina_mc</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 11:47pm<b>EvilLittleGirl</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 5:43pm<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 5:36am<b>21PGreenDay</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 9:35am<b>Gracemonique3</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 9:26am<b>Kitsi</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 4:43pm<b>tipuda</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 1:41pm<b>Anonymous66608</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 8:21am<b>kukumber</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 1:49pm<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 3:29pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 2:38pm<b>_MintyFresh</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 3:02pm<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 4:34am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 8:38pm<b>imslappy</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 2:38pm<b>Wutdafuqq</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 3:01pm<b>Eliseopwns</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 7:44pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 2:58am

Polynomial's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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Polynomial's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my girlfriend to her ex boyfriend's apartment for her to exchange his spare car keys for some of her grandmothers items. I waited outside in the parking lot for an hour, with no idea which door was his. She came out no longer a virgin. FML

by Joey / 06/04/2016 at 2:52pm / United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East) / Love

Today, the underwire in my bra snapped as my 9-hour workday started. FML

by SmileAndSayHi / 06/01/2016 at 3:23pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I've been chronically constipated so long that I was actually grateful for the sudden blast of diarrhea that ruined my pants. FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2016 at 7:05am / Canada (Quebec) / Health

Today, after seeing a cute girl on the bus, I tried to look cool by flipping my hair, only to smack the side of my head into the bus window. FML

by mitchellcrawford / 05/31/2016 at 2:05pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my dad asked my brother not to use his shaver so late at night. That wasn't him, and it wasn't his shaver either. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2016 at 12:11pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé and I are house-sitting for my future in-laws for the next 3 weeks. They left a bible in both bedrooms, along with printouts of an article denouncing the "sin" of premarital sex. They're such complete whack-jobs, I wouldn't be surprised if they've set up hidden cameras everywhere too. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2016 at 8:06am / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, I overheard my ex bragging to his buddies about how freaky his new girlfriend is, what with her animal tail butt plugs and such. Towards the end of our relationship, he called me disgusting for suggesting we spice things up with handcuffs. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2016 at 1:15pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my dad mentioned how quickly I go through batteries. I've been single and celibate since I moved back home 11 months ago. He doesn't realize this and keeps asking about "missing" batteries. FML

by thundermoo / 05/27/2016 at 12:13pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, due to a new tattoo, I can't wear a bra for the next few days. My coworker knows about it and thought it would be funny to blast the air-con all day. I swear I could have used my nipples to type this, instead of my fingers. FML

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law decided that she is going to be in charge of planning my wedding. All decisions must be approved by her, and anything she doesn't like will be thrown out. She also wants to go on our honeymoon with us to make sure I don't "defile" her son. FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2016 at 3:38pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while playing hockey, one of my teammates decided to swing her hockey stick like a golf club. She missed the ball, but managed to hit me right in the vagina. FML

by bruised / 05/19/2016 at 4:54pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I had a mini heart attack as my dad stopped in the middle of the street and said, "I wonder what'd happen if I just dropped my pants right now and started jerking it in front of all these motherfuckers." FML

by dad, please / 05/16/2016 at 1:37am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a party at my boyfriend's house. As I was walking past him, he pulled me onto his lap and started introducing me to a childhood friend. I sneezed and accidently peed on him. I'm 6 months pregnant and can't control my bladder. FML

by queen_lol / 05/10/2016 at 1:14pm / United States / Love

Today, my wife wanted to have a threesome. During our honeymoon. With the maid of honor. I didn't sign up for this. FML

by JustMarried / 05/07/2016 at 5:47pm / Ukraine / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2016 at 9:40pm / United States (California) / Intimacy