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PinkieKeen's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 04/06/2016 at 2:18pm / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Work
by adirom / 10/20/2014 at 10:25pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, my husband and I broke the news that I'm pregnant. Our 8-year-old son's reactions so far have been crying inconsolably, trying to punch me in the stomach, and swearing that he won't let me give him a brother or sister. FML
by Anonymous / 09/16/2014 at 1:44pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Kids
Today, I was going to put some Italian dressing on my salad when I noticed that the oil and vinegar weren't mixed. After putting the cap back on, I shook as hard as I could. The cap came flying off and I showered myself in the dressing. FML
by imamess / 09/15/2014 at 5:37pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML
by jackie89 / 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Intimacy
Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML
by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
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- Today, I just found out I am pregnant by my abusive drug addict Ex who I broke up with 2months ago.… Today,I bought 200 dollars worth of computer parts,today is also the day my mom cleans my desk and… Today, my sister told me to mind my own business when I freaked out about the used tampon she keeps…