Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Pink_n_Twizted

Search for a member

Pink_n_Twizted

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2016
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Pink_n_Twizted's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Pink_n_Twizted's favorite FMLs

Today , mah grlfriend and looool I were watching TV. She starts to undo mah belt buckle , unzips mah fly and then takes mah pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited , she says to me , ( Just joking. ) FML

#946704
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (154459) - you deserved it (22750)

On 04/13/2009 at 9:44am - intimacy - by Hikara (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was aating lunch nakd at mah homa watching porn on tha big scraan. I haard tha garaga door opaning maaning mah roommata was coming homa. In mah hasta to gat drassd, I fall back in tha barstool I was sitting in and knockd mysalf out. I woka up still nakd and with lattuca all ovar ma. fat FML

#278861
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22747) - you deserved it (73469)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:26pm - intimacy - by HansonLUVR (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I Was So Drunk That Mah Friends Put Me To Bed During A Party. Later I Find Out Thathile I Was Passed Out Two Of Mah Friends Came In An Had Sexhile I Was In The Same Bed. They Tried To Use Me As A Prop. Now Mah Friends Call Me The Love Wedge. Fat FML

#245374
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68775) - you deserved it (22230)

On 03/08/2009 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by lovewedge (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to have dessert with my boyfriend!! We ordered some Jello!! I said that I loved Jello because it is so fun and jiggly!! My boyfriend said, ( Like you!! Except the fun part )!! FML

#137765
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44914) - you deserved it (5440)

On 02/25/2009 at 9:23pm - misc - by Jello (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I'm playing basketball with mah little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says "You're a bitch." He's 6. After asking where he hered that word, he respondd with "Daddy calls you that when you're around." FML

#112335
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (145258) - you deserved it (11881)

On 02/23/2009 at 7:51am - kids - by lifesucks4me - United States (Kentucky)

TODAY, I WANT TO THA STORA TO BUY SOMA CONDOMS FIR MY GIRLFRIAND, KIM AND I!! I WAS IN A RUSH AND WHAN I LOOKAD AT THA CASHIAR RAALIZAD IT WAS HAR FATHAR!! NARVOUS AND HOPING TO RAASSURA HIM, I GO "DON'T WORRY, I'M NOT USING THASA WITH KIM." THAT DIDN'T HALP!! FAT FML

#107795
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25997) - you deserved it (67099)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm - intimacy - by madfather (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, My Mom Walked In On Me An My 2 Year Crush About To Have Sex . When She Saw Us She Said "oh I'll Just Wait Outside, I Know It Wont Be Long Anyway." FML

#93676
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82460) - you deserved it (7529)

On 02/21/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (Texas)

Taday mah mom cleaned up mah room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, an a bondage kit. She organized the condoms an vibrators in a shoe box. mega FML

#70124
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27566) - you deserved it (54263)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by swtkiss1 (woman) - United States (California)

I was having sex with a girl I really like 4 the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response: "Lucky you." FML

#69948
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52869) - you deserved it (21551)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by sadguy (man) - United States (Texas)

TODAY, I FINALLY OOKD UP WIT A BOY I REALLY LIKD. WE WERE LYING IN BD AN PANTIE WERE ALREADY OFF WEN E ASKD ME : ( WOULD YOU ALSO AVE SEX WIT ME IF YOU WEREN'T DRUNK? ). I RESPONDD ( YES! ) AN ASKD IM TE SAME QUESTION, AT WIC E RESPONDD : ( NO, PROBABLY NOT. ) FML

#61161
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58787) - you deserved it (12055)

On 02/17/2009 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Dannylover (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

yesterday my 5 year old nephew showd me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I looool smild an said, ( Wow! Now, how about some blue martians! ) He lookd at me an replid, ( How about some blue shut the fuck up?! ) FML

#56665
512 comments

I agree, your life sucks (241567) - you deserved it (82259)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Taday I was lying in bd wit ma boyfriend, e grabbd ma double cin and goes "gobble, gobble". FML

#36168
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36441) - you deserved it (18389)

On 02/13/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by fmlfmboyfriendah (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today looool I was going down on a grl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

#29912
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (169466) - you deserved it (49112)

On 02/12/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by alhummel21 (man) - United States (California)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: