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PinkFluffyPuppys's favorite FMLs
by nah / 09/09/2015 at 3:55pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
by jenpearl / 06/19/2015 at 9:06pm / Australia / Miscellaneous
by MonsterProblems / 01/07/2015 at 2:07am / Croatia / Health
Today, I cut myself pretty badly with a knife. I was bleeding quite a lot, so I yelled to my husband to bring me some kitchen roll, along with the first aid kit. He rushed in with the roll… to clean the floor. FML
by DiiiDiiine / 10/27/2014 at 10:22am / France (Limousin) / Health
by SadMother / 10/04/2014 at 3:52pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML
by makeyourselfathome / 09/17/2014 at 8:18am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out I sent several embarrassing videos while under the influence of the meds I was given while getting my wisdom teeth out. When I asked my mom why she didn't take my phone, she said she tried but I started whining and growling at her. FML
by sydspears3 / 09/09/2014 at 2:08pm / United States (Florida) / Health
Today, my roommate decided that because she has an oral report due, she's going to scream at the top of her lungs until she loses her voice to get out of it. It's been two hours and she refuses to stop. FML
by why me? / 09/06/2014 at 12:25am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
by KristaAaronn / 08/27/2014 at 8:24am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
Today, I was sitting in a boring lecture. Out of boredom, I made a fish-faces with my mouth. Somehow, I made the most realistic fart noise I've ever heard in the process. The whole room stared at me. FML
by annababyyyy / 08/24/2014 at 9:09pm / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML
by Anonymous / 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/14/2014 at 12:38am / France / Animals
Today, a potential customer was looking at a treadmill at the fitness warehouse I work at. Once he was done testing it out, I asked him if he'd like me to order it for him. His reply? "Nah. I only had a go on it 'cause it looked like fun. Hey, but you could order one for yourself, huh, chubs?" FML
by Anonymous / 08/13/2014 at 10:18am / United Kingdom (Devon) / Work
Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML
by Dancing King / 08/07/2014 at 11:36am / Norway (Rogaland) / Health
Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML
by whoops / 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…