PimpinPenguin

Search for a member

PimpinPenguin

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4142
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About PimpinPenguin : Im a Boss

PimpinPenguin's page activity

Visits<b>DBudders</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 4:07pm<b>dandee_one</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 12:10am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 12:14pm<b>BigSeedDeed99</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 10:47am<b>jackel_love</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 5:16pm<b>oops993</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 9:08am<b>unloved_unhappy</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 12:54am<b>TheNelson3</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 9:04am<b>isrocc</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 2:23pm<b>codazombie</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 9:23pm<b>Shenanigans9</b> - the 03/03/2013 at 12:53pm<b>nela25</b> - the 07/10/2012 at 7:13am<b>moonlight_daze</b> - the 09/23/2009 at 10:09am<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/14/2009 at 4:29pm<b>tyedyetee95</b> - the 09/13/2009 at 2:06am<b>prplr</b> - the 09/11/2009 at 2:43pm<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 09/11/2009 at 3:50am<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 09/10/2009 at 5:29pm

PimpinPenguin's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

PimpinPenguin's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, the girl next to me slipped and went flying back against the wall. Indecisive whether to get off and help her or to just keep going, I lost my focus and footing and flew back next to her. FML

by NoPainNoGain / 06/05/2009 at 1:03am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I had a date with this guy. I waited at the restaurant for an hour and he didn't show. Thinking he stood me up, I went over to his place and keyed his car. Then I realized the date was for tomorrow. FML

by soljaboy / 06/04/2009 at 1:09pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML

by Jerrrr / 05/26/2009 at 8:22pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was showing my new iPhone case to my friends, saying how it was scratchproof, shockproof, and waterproof. I demonstrated it by dropping it on the sidewalk from about 5 feet. It bounced onto the road. Apparently, its not truck-proof. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 3:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while working at a pizza shop near a college campus, I got an order to deliver to the dorms. Extremely busy at work and annoyed that someone wouldn't take 3 minutes to walk over, I spat on the pizza. When I arrived to the dorm, a woman in a wheelchair opened the door. FML

by pizzagurl / 05/09/2009 at 12:43am / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML

by Gumfanatic302 / 05/06/2009 at 9:43pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, I was walking on the track when this really cute guy shows up. I was hot and sweaty, and wanted to impress him by pouring water on myself. Instead of being turned on, all he saw was me wiping my face on my shirt screaming. It wasn't water, I forgot I had brought Sprite. FML

by gymbob / 05/06/2009 at 7:36am / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I was taking the subway to work when I saw a really hot girl. Noticing that she, like me, had a Dunkin' Donuts coffee, I tried to start a conversation by saying, "Is that Double Ds you have there?" She didn't pick up that I was talking about the coffee. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2009 at 6:46pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML

by tvaladie / 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation

Today, I went to a bar with two guys I was interested in. The first I'd been trying to go out with all semester. The second I had gone to dinner with and he seemed nice. I was the designated driver. They drank too much and, on the way home, hooked up in the back seat. FML

by sad_gay / 04/16/2009 at 4:40am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML

by Brastro / 04/07/2009 at 7:46am / Ireland (Kildare) / Miscellaneous

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

by funnyguyNOT / 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I set my AIM status to be the currently-playing file on my iTunes. I've downloaded a lot of porn to my iTunes, and I wanted to watch some. My status changed to "Girl in Latex gets fucked in the ass." FML

by ohshittttttt / 04/04/2009 at 12:15pm / United States (New York) / Geek