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PimpdaddyCJT

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PimpdaddyCJT
  • Town/Country : Brunswick, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 16 January 1998 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 4297
  • Number of comments : 246
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About PimpdaddyCJT : Well you know shit happens.

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PimpdaddyCJT's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML

#2637147
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19966) - you deserved it (67455)

On 06/05/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

#2459150
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21275) - you deserved it (73241)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, I had a job interview. I had to drop my daughter off with my babysitter first. When I got to the interview I got a weird look from the vice president of the company. I had lime green poop running down the side of my white blouse. FML

#2341558
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45221) - you deserved it (6386)

On 05/27/2009 at 2:15pm - kids - by boo (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my car died on a major road, a cop pulled over to help, he offered to jump me, while doing so because my battery was so dead he told me to put the gas on the floor, I did and my car roared to life, he then pulled me over five feet from where my car died to give me a ticket for a loud exhaust. FML

#2168919
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55437) - you deserved it (4364)

On 05/22/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by fmlcops (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was scolding my 8 year old son because he was getting bad grades in school. I told him that he should get straight A's like his friend Ceejay. He told me that comparing him to Ceejay was unfair and when I asked why he said, "Because his dad is actually smart." FML

#2134167
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15225) - you deserved it (56398)

On 05/21/2009 at 12:35am - kids - by tomandjerry (man) - United States (California)

Today, while working at a children's day camp, one of the kids who is allergic to peanuts went into anaphylactic shock. I ran and grabbed the boys eppe pen. I was holding it backwards so the injection went into my hand, causing me to pass out and both of us to be rushed to hospital. FML

#1926595
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21202) - you deserved it (46875)

On 05/14/2009 at 10:11am - work - by MC (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

#1815627
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (398015) - you deserved it (52931)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

#1690188
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90313) - you deserved it (19965)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to go to my 10 year old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face , "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML

#1253914
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56716) - you deserved it (5167)

On 04/23/2009 at 11:51am - work - by helen_ (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

#1104891
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (449141) - you deserved it (25565)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
663 comments

I agree, your life sucks (656145) - you deserved it (48830)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML

#909616
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62069) - you deserved it (18230)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was in IKEA, furniture shopping with my dad. He was looking at one couch that was particularly small. I said "dad that couch is for like a midget." I look over to see a midget looking at me, sitting on the same couch in a different color. He definitely heard me. FML

#809473
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24302) - you deserved it (60038)

On 04/04/2009 at 11:40pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - United States (New York)



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