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PimpdaddyCJT

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PimpdaddyCJT
  • Town/Country : Brunswick, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 16 January 1998 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 4281
  • Number of comments : 246
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About PimpdaddyCJT : Well you know shit happens.

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PimpdaddyCJT's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML

#12858268
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23358) - you deserved it (2967)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that whenever my best friend used to say she wanted to do my dad, she wasn't kidding. She accomplished her mission in my bed after school. FML

#12851592
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45711) - you deserved it (3147)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:10am - intimacy - by fmlskank93 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to pay my grandma a visit. She called the cops because she didn't recognize me and thought I was a robber. FML

#12850855
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24775) - you deserved it (2734)

On 09/01/2010 at 4:27am - misc - by Michelle (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I witnessed my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML

#12817288
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34588) - you deserved it (11265)

On 08/30/2010 at 3:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told everyone I queef during sex. Even his parents are calling me "Cooter Pooter." FML

#12816242
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32477) - you deserved it (6108)

On 08/30/2010 at 2:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after nearly 2 years of continuous fighting in Afghanistan, my unit came home. We were booed at the airport. FML

#12810587
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112575) - you deserved it (11181)

On 08/29/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by soldierboy - United States

Today, I was chosen out of 64 women to model for the catalog of a new clothing store. Just when my self-confidence took a dramatic boost, I looked at the evaluation sheet. I was picked due to attributes such as my "extra large figure and average face" to make below average women feel beautiful. FML

#12805582
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22352) - you deserved it (3626)

On 08/29/2010 at 1:51pm - misc - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend sat me down to reassure me that his competitive, possessive ex-wife will not come between us or ruin our relationship. Mid-conversation, his phone rang. It was her, and he left to answer it. FML

#12804973
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24553) - you deserved it (3290)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:58pm - love - by ForgottenAgain (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML

#12803986
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25521) - you deserved it (5181)

On 08/29/2010 at 11:37am - intimacy - by bkay26 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy, when suddenly he pulled out and told me that "he had another fat chick meeting him in twenty minutes." FML

#12800426
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30342) - you deserved it (13453)

On 08/29/2010 at 3:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy, when suddenly he pulled out and told me that "he had another fat chick meeting him in twenty minutes." FML

#12800426
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30342) - you deserved it (13453)

On 08/29/2010 at 3:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learned to never shave your downstairs when you have the hiccups. FML

#12797931
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16120) - you deserved it (24145)

On 08/29/2010 at 1:02am - health - by yggiz (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad walked in on me singing "Bohemian Rhapsody", while spinning in circles with the cat in my arms. I thought I was home alone. FML

#12797830
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11196) - you deserved it (24426)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:54am - animals - by Hobbsie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML

#12792346
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33019) - you deserved it (22087)

On 08/28/2010 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Sicko - Sent from mobile version

Today, was my uncle's funeral. He was cremated, and his wish was to have his ashes spread into the sea. As we were waiting for the waves to come and take him away, a group of seagulls came by picking at all his ashes. I guess he tasted good. FML

#12782393
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27457) - you deserved it (2858)

On 08/28/2010 at 2:07am - misc - by SeagullsShouldDie - United States



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