Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

PimpdaddyCJT

Search for a member

PimpdaddyCJT

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 16 January 1998 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5468
  • Number of comments : 246
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About PimpdaddyCJT : Well you know shit happens.

PimpdaddyCJT's page activity

Visits<b>nina0917</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 12:13am<b>Adeptus_Astartes</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 6:25pm<b>27nate4</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 10:34am<b>farleytb42</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 6:33pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 1:07pm<b>kylie31</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 6:40am<b>maayers</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 1:23am<b>madellen</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 7:20pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 10:32pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 3:37pm<b>pumpkinhead1979</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 1:41pm<b>LindsayxMoore</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 12:41am<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 9:42pm<b>lachina805</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 11:09pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 8:08pm<b>katydid91</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 12:24am<b>arrrrrlennie</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 11:18pm<b>chantellylace6</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 12:07am

PimpdaddyCJT's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of PimpdaddyCJT's badges

PimpdaddyCJT's favorite FMLs

Today, I met a new guy at work who would not stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in mah female coworker about it, she told me he was her husband. mega FML

Today, I asked mah boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding u a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML

#13031931
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38195) - you deserved it (12407)

On 09/13/2010 at 5:14am - love - by vikinggirl (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

2day I noticed that the walls of apartment are ridiculously thin.. . when I heard neighbor slowly walk up the stars.. . slam the bathroom door.. . lift the toilet cover.. . take a pee and end with a nice ( AAHH . ) FML

#13030985
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26145) - you deserved it (2974)

On 09/13/2010 at 2:49am - misc - by edwinduarte1 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got the car of mah dreams. My daughter also learned how to write her name. Now I have "LAUREN" across the side of mah car. FML

#13030264
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26206) - you deserved it (4401)

On 09/13/2010 at 1:41am - kids - by llozano715 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got a call from mah boyfriend saying he needd me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML

#13027296
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37787) - you deserved it (5640)

On 09/12/2010 at 10:29pm - intimacy - by nickim756 - United States (North Carolina)

Today , I told ma 3 year old daugter to beave or I'd spank er. Se looked rigt at me an said "Bring it." FML

#13026235
418 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31843) - you deserved it (28442)

On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today I was askd to crawl through a sun roof because one of my co workers lockd her keys in her car. After I got the keys instead of opening the car door I climbd back out through the sun roof. To laughter. FML

#13024683
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6550) - you deserved it (37347)

On 09/12/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today , at work , a tree year old cucked a cocolate bar at me. It it me square in te face. Her fater praised er 4 er ( quality arm. ) mega FML

#13024649
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23774) - you deserved it (2700)

On 09/12/2010 at 8:08pm - misc - by tenthousandspoon - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, at dinner, mah grandmother informd us that mah cousin's newborn baby has been having siezures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replid, ( It's not a siezure if your shaking it. ) FML

#12978436
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8489) - you deserved it (38338)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

2day my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping , she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny , causing a lot of people to stare in our drection. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML

#12975254
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34624) - you deserved it (3942)

On 09/09/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I Got Circumcisd. After The Surgery, Mah Girlfriend Got Drunk And Textd All Of Her Friends About It. FML

#12969357
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27326) - you deserved it (5273)

On 09/08/2010 at 10:15pm - health - by Chester (Seattle) - United States (Washington)

2day my family and I attended a pool party. I never learned to swim so I didn't bring a suit. When someone asked y I wasn't in the pool my sister replied in a loud voice ( She's on her period and didn't want the pool to get dirty! ) Thanks. mega FML

#12963410
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31313) - you deserved it (4209)

On 09/08/2010 at 2:09pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Greece (Attiki)

2day my family and I attended a pool party. I never learned to swim so I didn't bring a suit. When someone asked y I wasn't in the pool my sister replied in a loud voice ( She's on her period and didn't want the pool to get dirty! ) Thanks. mega FML

#12963410
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31313) - you deserved it (4209)

On 09/08/2010 at 2:09pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Greece (Attiki)

Today... I woka up from a draam inhich I had a panis. Apparantly I talk in mah slaap... bacausa mah boyfriand kapt staring at mah crotch. FML

#12915850
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30365) - you deserved it (4609)

On 09/05/2010 at 10:20am - intimacy - by urgg (woman) - United States

Today, I found out wat "suparsoakad" maans. I thought it maant gatting shot by a watar gun,hich ishy I laughadhan my daughtar's boyfriand said ha "suparsoakad" har. FML

#12894594
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30814) - you deserved it (6208)

On 09/04/2010 at 12:15am - intimacy - by FMyLife5915 -



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: