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PickledSweets

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PickledSweets
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 199
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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PickledSweets's favorite FMLs

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40367) - you deserved it (3573)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

#21108224
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18266) - you deserved it (42559)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by Motha - United States (Utah)

Today, I was feeling horny, so I told my boyfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, that "I really needed him". He replied, "Did you fall in the toilet again?" FML

#21107872
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39977) - you deserved it (8481)

On 04/08/2014 at 7:06pm - intimacy - by that girl (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML

#21107739
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44615) - you deserved it (3134)

On 04/08/2014 at 4:13pm - kids - by vreenya (woman) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, I was given a call home, a 3-day-suspension, and a week of detention in school for a "serious violation of the code of conduct." Said violation? Jogging in the middle of the hall. FML

#21107042
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35418) - you deserved it (3696)

On 04/07/2014 at 7:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML

#21102110
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41829) - you deserved it (4750)

On 04/01/2014 at 5:41pm - kids - by derped-out sperm (man) - Ireland

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

#21095689
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45305) - you deserved it (11013)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

#21094789
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28818) - you deserved it (15273)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

#21093670
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36919) - you deserved it (9377)

On 03/22/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by campus pussy (man) - United States (California)

Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I ate a banana at lunch, which he claimed is "threateningly sexual", whatever the hell that means. FML

#21090158
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39315) - you deserved it (3235)

On 03/18/2014 at 5:31pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a music duet in front of a crowd and 3 judges. I play tuba and my partner plays the saxophone. He burst out laughing in the middle of it because one note that I played sounded like a fart. FML

#21082619
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37432) - you deserved it (4088)

On 03/09/2014 at 10:09pm - misc - by some band player - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML

#21082455
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39072) - you deserved it (7059)

On 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm - kids - by ashamed father (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while. I swear I couldn't help it when the words "Wow, I bet you really regret that haircut." came out of my mouth. FML

#21074690
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20042) - you deserved it (37938)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia



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