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PhoenixMartinez's FML badges
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
PhoenixMartinez's favorite FMLs
by PrettySureItsReal / 04/09/2015 at 3:38pm / United States (Missouri) / Work
by gross / 04/09/2015 at 12:00pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by jackzz / 04/09/2015 at 3:55am / Vietnam (Dac Lac) / Work
Today, I overheard a large group of my friends and acquaintances making spontaneous plans to go see a movie that afternoon. I was the only person not invited. Normally I would have believed their excuse that they thought I was "sick at home", except I was sitting a few feet away the entire time. FML
by ifeelsoloved / 04/09/2015 at 2:25am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I managed to get my 4-year-old son to agree that, "cigarettes are poop." I was a lot less proud of myself when he pointed at a 6-foot bodybuilder-type dude in the subway and yelled, "That man smells of pooooooop." FML
by Insanity / 04/09/2015 at 1:28am / France (Centre) / Kids
by Heart-Broken / 04/08/2015 at 9:58pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by losing the plot / 04/08/2015 at 3:36pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/08/2015 at 1:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML
by S to the HIT / 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, after pulling an all-nighter studying for an exam, I caught the bus to college. On the way there, the bus decided to make sweet love to a taxi, creating a pile-up and a traffic jam. I didn't make it to the exam in time. FML
by rUs7up1d / 04/08/2015 at 10:43am / Guatemala (Guatemala) / Transportation
by Darbstar101 / 04/08/2015 at 9:00am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
Today, I did the smart thing and bought an umbrella before walking to work. My efforts proved useless when a truck ran through a huge puddle and drenched me from head to toe. My underwear was still wet 4 hours later. FML
by Tadpolecrusader / 04/08/2015 at 7:05am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/08/2015 at 6:52am / United States (California) / Love
by burnswhenipee / 04/07/2015 at 8:47pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by _1CrazyEyes1_ / 04/07/2015 at 7:57pm / Virgin Islands, U.S. / Love
- Today, my girlfriend and I got caught doing it in her parent's bed by her mom. Instead of making me… Today, I was supposed to go on a date with a guy who lives on the same floor as me in my apartment… Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend…