PhoenixMartinez

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Offline (the 02/17/2016 at 9:47pm)

PhoenixMartinez

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2452
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 38 posted

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PhoenixMartinez's page activity

Visits<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 4:10pm<b>colvindj</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 11:09pm<b>feven</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 3:23pm<b>destructor2014</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 12:43am<b>TPH1979</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 8:36am<b>triplebeerox</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 5:33am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 7:51am<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 7:33pm<b>sam882</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 8:10pm<b>clairesucks</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 2:07am<b>missa8604</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 8:48pm<b>klauerbrianna</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 6:48pm<b>jmcr</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 10:34am<b>boobear19883</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 8:35pm<b>sapnagirl</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 11:18pm<b>kaceylee</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 9:08am<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 1:12am<b>DomiLove</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 8:12pm

Fucked!<b>klauerbrianna</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 12:48am<b>Metz_yolo</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 8:21am

PhoenixMartinez's FML badges

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of PhoenixMartinez's badges

PhoenixMartinez's favorite FMLs

Today, a parent of one of the students I teach called me to complain that I was teaching her child "lies" and "fairytales". I was teaching them about the Holocaust. FML

by PrettySureItsReal / 04/09/2015 at 3:38pm / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I got a bikini as a birthday present. I pulled the bikini bottom out of the box first, only to find a pubic hair stuck to the hygienic liner. FML

by gross / 04/09/2015 at 12:00pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the restaurant I work at, my own mom refused to give a tip and complained to my boss. FML

by jackzz / 04/09/2015 at 3:55am / Vietnam (Dac Lac) / Work

Today, I overheard a large group of my friends and acquaintances making spontaneous plans to go see a movie that afternoon. I was the only person not invited. Normally I would have believed their excuse that they thought I was "sick at home", except I was sitting a few feet away the entire time. FML

by ifeelsoloved / 04/09/2015 at 2:25am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I managed to get my 4-year-old son to agree that, "cigarettes are poop." I was a lot less proud of myself when he pointed at a 6-foot bodybuilder-type dude in the subway and yelled, "That man smells of pooooooop." FML

by Insanity / 04/09/2015 at 1:28am / France (Centre) / Kids

Today, I was paired up with my long-term crush for a project. She introduced herself to me and asked if I was new this year. We've gone to the same school since kindergarten. FML

by Heart-Broken / 04/08/2015 at 9:58pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, after locking myself out of my house, I let myself into my car to wait on someone with a spare key. It took me 15 minutes to realise the house and car key share the same ring. FML

by losing the plot / 04/08/2015 at 3:36pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my 17-year-old brother jerking it to a scene from the movie Frozen. Brain bleach, please. FML

by Anonymous / 04/08/2015 at 1:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML

by S to the HIT / 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, after pulling an all-nighter studying for an exam, I caught the bus to college. On the way there, the bus decided to make sweet love to a taxi, creating a pile-up and a traffic jam. I didn't make it to the exam in time. FML

by rUs7up1d / 04/08/2015 at 10:43am / Guatemala (Guatemala) / Transportation

Today, I found out just how much my dog likes ice-cream when she tackled a little girl at a park for hers. FML

Today, I did the smart thing and bought an umbrella before walking to work. My efforts proved useless when a truck ran through a huge puddle and drenched me from head to toe. My underwear was still wet 4 hours later. FML

Today, I got disappointed when I realized that I had to share a bed with my husband because we had company over. FML

by Anonymous / 04/08/2015 at 6:52am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I had to get stitches in my vagina due to an unfortunate mishap while climbing a fence. FML

by burnswhenipee / 04/07/2015 at 8:47pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I was talking with my mother. As we went to say goodbye, she said "I love you". Out of habit of saying I love you to my girlfriend, I said, "Love you too babe". FML