Petunia888

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Petunia888

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 November 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1857
  • Number of comments : 268
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Petunia888 : I play cello.
I love most kinds of rock, blues, jazz, etc.
I'm open-minded, but not so open-minded that my brains are falling out. =)
If I disagree with you, don't take it personally. Not everyone's gonna see things the same way.
I like to talk about most everything. That's why I like this app; I like to see what different people think about this stuff. No matter how off base it is.
I'd love to live in Canada or Sweden.
And I'm kind of a hippie in some ways. =)

Petunia888's page activity

Visits<b>caaxo</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 5:46pm<b>getindoe69</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 7:15am<b>Zatert</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 11:37pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 8:47pm<b>Damafia</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 10:55pm<b>xninix</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 1:55am<b>Dynosaur_dollie</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 7:00pm<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 5:21pm<b>liljimmy73</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 4:12am<b>kirbykylestorm</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 11:55pm<b>DeadxTime</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 7:26pm<b>kittycatkelss</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 4:13am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 6:23am<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 11:20am<b>qwerty401</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 3:13pm<b>Furby94</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 4:36pm<b>littlesarahxo</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 2:43pm<b>cryssycakesx3</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 11:01am

Fucked!<b>xninix</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 7:55am<b>kirbykylestorm</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 5:55am<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 4:20pm

Petunia888's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of Petunia888's badges

Petunia888's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2012 at 8:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

by BadIdea / 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm / France / Intimacy

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

by ifeeldirty / 10/27/2011 at 8:22am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML

by sad / 10/25/2011 at 6:15am / Reserved / Intimacy

Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML

by prostitutes boyfriend / 10/21/2011 at 10:55am / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Intimacy

Today, I left my window open while practicing the saxophone. My drunk neighbours showed their appreciation for the music with a well-aimed firecracker that set my mattress on fire. My landlord has threatened to evict me as she thinks I set it off. FML

by ItaliczZz / 10/12/2011 at 4:13am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I found a used condom in the fax machine. I'm the electrical maintenance repair for the company. I have to untangle it from the belts. FML

by Help / 09/16/2011 at 12:20pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2011 at 4:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2011 at 1:54am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

by bubbalicious / 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I was babysitting a 4 year-old with a speech impediment. I asked her, "Do you got your bag?" And she said, "No. I have my bag. Babies say got. I'm a big girl." I am 20 years old and in the honors program in my college. I was corrected by a 4 year-old with a speech impediment. FML

by Nanny / 04/30/2009 at 1:42pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

by blizzard_of_77 / 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was teaching a swimming lesson to 6-7 year old boys and girls. I recently broke up with my boyfriend so I haven't been taking care of my bikini line. While I was demonstrating how to do a whip-kick out of the water one of the boys said, "You have a beard coming out of your bathing suit!" FML

by superfkd / 03/14/2009 at 10:27pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML

by Noname / 02/12/2009 at 1:00am / United States (Oregon) / Geek