PerditaDessa

Search for a member

PerditaDessa

185Fucked!

PerditaDessaPerditaDessa
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 14 October 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5960
  • Number of comments : 169
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About PerditaDessa : I'm one of those people your parents warned you about. If you'd like to speak with me anyway, suggest me a book.

English isn't my first language, so if you do message me please keep that in mind.

PerditaDessa's page activity

Visits<b>flyingflies</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 3:52am<b>XbladeX99</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 12:48am<b>JamesMago</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 10:23am<b>Srxjo</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 3:06pm<b>fader402</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 12:34am<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 6:02pm<b>FMLUSER12345612</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 10:26am<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 7:55pm<b>Chibster</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 3:13pm<b>Ava_Darkflame</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 11:07pm<b>claudiajean</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 8:15pm<b>MitchRapp</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 3:03am<b>Stranger32</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 6:36pm<b>whiplash2289</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 7:02pm<b>niftyismybitch</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 6:00am<b>FML_HelloItsMe</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 10:58am<b>Rozay333</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 9:21am<b>Zatert</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 2:16am

Fucked!<b>Ava_Darkflame</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 5:07am<b>claudiajean</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 2:15am<b>niftyismybitch</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 12:00pm<b>FML_HelloItsMe</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 4:59pm<b>Rozay333</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 8:18am<b>vaas90</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 8:11am<b>TxAsMaD3</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 9:50pm<b>mercyelvira42</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 7:44pm<b>droid1126</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 4:31am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 8:40pm<b>olliebush123</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 10:11am<b>Phazoid</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 1:09am<b>Redmondking</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 1:18pm<b>gqlmno</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 4:25am<b>NineeCat</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 8:30pm<b>CanadiAnM8</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 3:31pm<b>sarika</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 5:23pm<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 5:52am

PerditaDessa's FML badges

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of PerditaDessa's badges

PerditaDessa's favorite FMLs

Today, when I dropped my 6-year-old daughter off at school, a little boy ran up to her so I asked his name. My daughter explained: "Oh, don't pay any attention to him, he's my slave. He's come to carry my bag. See you later, mom!" FML

by mafille / 03/18/2015 at 11:22pm / France / Kids

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

by killme / 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML

by frediqqq / 02/25/2015 at 11:21pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband again lost his keys. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML

by wife / 02/21/2015 at 10:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm here to inform men that, "If I fucked you, I wouldn't pull out" is not an effective pick up line. Ever. Especially on a coworker. FML

by No thank you / 02/04/2015 at 3:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

by terdberglerforlyfe / 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm / Brazil (Sao Paulo) / Kids

Today, while my boyfriend and I were talking with his sister-in-law about a TV show, his 6-year-old nephew walked up just in time to hear how Santa killed the protagonist's parents. I've never seen such a heartbroken face in my life, and now he won't stop asking if Santa kills people. FML

by xmassmasher / 12/02/2014 at 2:52am / United States (Louisiana) / Kids

Today, my boss said he's worried about our network, because "Wifi's all in the air. People could spy on us from anywhere!" I sarcastically said "My god, you're right!" and suggested switching to tin-foil ethernet cables to stop the signal escaping. He told me to do it ASAP. This moron makes five times my salary. FML

by Anonymous / 11/20/2014 at 3:15pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my boyfriend said "You're a real work of art. You know, the abstract kind that no one likes. Anyway, we need to break up." FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2014 at 12:40pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my mom spelled my name with all lowercase letters. When I asked her why she wrote it like that, she got pissed and snapped back, "Capitals are for people who amount to something." FML

by wow / 10/30/2014 at 6:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my first job interview. The manager asks me to sell him his pen. Thinking I'm all smart, I reenact the scene from the Wolf of Wall Street and say, 'Write down your name'. He calmly reaches into his drawer, takes out another pen and writes his name down. He then looks at me and laughs. FML

by shadysheikh / 10/29/2014 at 12:55am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

by MySonThePoet / 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids