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PenguinBitch

Offline (the 07/12/2015 at 9:45am) | Search for a member

PenguinBitch

78Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 November 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14962
  • Number of comments : 1113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About PenguinBitch : Happy FML'ling.

PenguinBitch's page activity

Visits<b>CrispyBacon69</b> - 10 hours ago<b>Death_The_Kid15</b> - 14 hours ago<b>Iwtumn</b> - yesterday at 9:26am<b>HoboRain</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 12:20pm<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 9:42am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 11:36pm<b>SuumahEli</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 12:04pm<b>guss5441</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 10:17pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 4:08am<b>Insanemf18</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 10:01pm<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 8:46am<b>fire_flies</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 8:07am<b>IdntNOthePASS</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 7:26pm<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 7:57pm<b>supertacowaffle</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 2:17pm<b>EpicDudeX1</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 5:25pm<b>FailStaff</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 1:25pm<b>TheJasonLi</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 4:51am

Fucked!<b>Death_The_Kid15</b> - 8 hours ago<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 5:36am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 10:08am<b>IdntNOthePASS</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 1:26am<b>kylalaffertyy</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 9:28pm<b>NotLemon</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 10:25pm<b>terspal</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 12:32pm<b>pollymo14</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 5:00pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 6:12am<b>carilica</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 1:56pm<b>Unbearable</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 8:16am<b>Supaviper</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 7:29pm<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 5:21am<b>CrAzYELF4</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 2:12am<b>RektRules</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 1:04am<b>sp00derman</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 12:41am<b>Juicenub</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 1:32pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 12:31am

PenguinBitch's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

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See all of PenguinBitch's badges

PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a baby shower with my wife. I went to go outside for some fresh air, but walked straight into their glass sliding door. Everyone stared at me. I smiled with embarrassment and walked back over to my wife, only to trip over my own feet and faceplant the floor. FML

#21018030
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54186) - you deserved it (7224)

On 01/05/2014 at 4:45pm - health - by stillhurting (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my son was playing The Sims, when I saw him remove the door to a room and set it on fire with a Sim trapped inside. I chuckled at first, until I saw that the Sim was me. Meanwhile, my wife's Sim was happily painting in the next room, not giving a crap. All too accurate, sadly. FML

#21015673
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48968) - you deserved it (5260)

On 01/03/2014 at 4:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. I accidentally reversed while still in the driveway, and I instinctively hit the brakes. In my panic, I accidentally let go of the brakes, and ended up reversing straight into our house, all while my father yelled "NOOOOOO!" FML

#21014440
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40491) - you deserved it (17863)

On 01/02/2014 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I ate some amazing homemade brownies that my best friend's wife made for us. She waited till I'd shoved a third one into my mouth before she mentioned she made them with breast milk. Knowing her, I don't even doubt it was true. FML

#21014374
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44817) - you deserved it (4793)

On 01/02/2014 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Fife)

Today, I finally got proof of my theory when the dog came downstairs at 2 in the morning, looked me dead in the eye, pissed on the rug and took my socks before disappearing back upstairs. FML

#21013459
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37676) - you deserved it (4004)

On 01/01/2014 at 9:32pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML

#21010622
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49644) - you deserved it (5057)

On 12/30/2013 at 4:38pm - love - by smokecloud_ (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML

#21001182
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50343) - you deserved it (5006)

On 12/22/2013 at 10:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

#20996030
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57230) - you deserved it (7482)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, I saw some servicemen sitting outside a café, and I went over to thank them for their service. They waited till after I was done shaking their hands before they told me they were just actors on their lunch break. FML

#20993552
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39398) - you deserved it (6832)

On 12/15/2013 at 3:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, it's my birthday. The only "happy birthday"s I got were from my mom, her Facebook account, and the Facebook account she made for her cat. FML

#20991213
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41761) - you deserved it (3115)

On 12/13/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by carboncoach (man) - Egypt

Today, my grandma added to my elephant collection by giving me some underwear with elephant ears on the hips, and a long, sock-like nose. She has no idea they're meant for a guy. FML

#20989013
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53062) - you deserved it (5113)

On 12/11/2013 at 3:14pm - intimacy - by ElephantLover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while on my way to work, an elderly woman complimented me on my breast cancer scarf. I explained that my grandmother made one for all her female grandchildren before passing away two years ago. The woman then went psycho and almost strangled me in an attempt to steal it. FML

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56885) - you deserved it (3209)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my grandma commented on my Facebook profile picture: "That's a great photo! It doesn't look anything like you!" FML

#20982946
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37704) - you deserved it (3467)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by oh (woman) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

#20981890
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40908) - you deserved it (22760)

On 12/05/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by possibly a sweater (man) - United States (Texas)



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