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PenguinBitch

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PenguinBitch

56Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 November 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13294
  • Number of comments : 1088
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About PenguinBitch : Congratulations. You have now reached the end of FML. Go any deeper and you will reach the void. Goodbye. ✌🏼️

PenguinBitch's page activity

Visits<b>EddySaBoy</b> - yesterday at 10:14am<b>ryerye942</b> - yesterday at 3:02am<b>yasss</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 2:38pm<b>annie_potter_</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 6:28am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 7:58am<b>ginnylin</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 12:58pm<b>jadenjacksonm</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 8:15am<b>cutiepie292929</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 3:58am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 10:48am<b>BIGGItheTexan</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 6:16am<b>brutally</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 3:13am<b>wheresmymary</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 12:32am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 11:38pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 11:06pm<b>HumanitysFinest</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 1:15pm<b>lucythomson</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 1:05pm<b>addisonrose12</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 12:22am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 9:55am

Fucked!<b>the_aspect</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:48pm<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 5:41am<b>nhbasskid13</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 1:01am<b>interesting33</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 12:08pm<b>sarcasm_insanity</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 5:17am<b>MaltWarrior</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 6:47am<b>Drarry</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 4:17am<b>LoveNnyl</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 3:25am<b>allykaymorris</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 2:06am<b>skye147</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 12:03am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 12:57am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 8:43pm<b>mwali02</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 9:53pm<b>clairesucks</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 7:32am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 2:21pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 12:44am<b>MehNameIsJuan</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 4:58pm<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 7:14am

PenguinBitch's FML badges

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

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Colonel_Whiskers

You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!

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PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML

#21068594
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42053) - you deserved it (3944)

On 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML

#21068134
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50967) - you deserved it (9316)

On 02/22/2014 at 12:39am - intimacy - by awkward (man) - United States

Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML

#21058095
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39540) - you deserved it (5225)

On 02/12/2014 at 12:57pm - misc - by airhead2015 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I heard my sister talking to my mom about me, saying that I have the ability to suck the life out of a room like a Dementor. I walked in and asked what she meant by that. My mom replied, "She means you're an asshole." I love you too, mom. FML

#21055293
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35848) - you deserved it (6344)

On 02/09/2014 at 12:00pm - misc - by jigglepuff - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon after I had explained to her how scared I was of the exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML

#21054343
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43065) - you deserved it (5839)

On 02/08/2014 at 12:13pm - misc - by so scared - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

#21050194
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54785) - you deserved it (6737)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:50am - kids - by LadyDeadpool88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML

#21046154
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47280) - you deserved it (4022)

On 01/31/2014 at 11:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, me and my boyfriend were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cock blocked me. FML

#21045897
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47726) - you deserved it (7055)

On 01/31/2014 at 1:16am - intimacy - by CatBlock (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after I took my first set of exams, my professor posted on Twitter, scoffing at how stupid one student's answer was. The answer he quoted was one that I wrote. FML

#21036248
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46583) - you deserved it (9439)

On 01/22/2014 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, a girl I've never met before came up to me and punched me in the face, because she wanted to get suspended. FML

#21036028
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48929) - you deserved it (3854)

On 01/22/2014 at 11:30am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was walking home from work, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. I clambered back to my feet, made it three feet, then slipped and fell again. A guy who'd witnessed the whole thing stuck his head out of his car window and yelled "Dumbasssssss!" FML

#21031072
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41498) - you deserved it (5769)

On 01/17/2014 at 6:28pm - health - by SqueakingRetard (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after working my shift at McDonalds, I went to clock in at my dispatch job. During a 911 call, I blurted, "Would you like to try the McRib while it's back?" FML

#21023934
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46483) - you deserved it (8744)

On 01/10/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at a baby shower with my wife. I went to go outside for some fresh air, but walked straight into their glass sliding door. Everyone stared at me. I smiled with embarrassment and walked back over to my wife, only to trip over my own feet and faceplant the floor. FML

#21018030
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51689) - you deserved it (6885)

On 01/05/2014 at 4:45pm - health - by stillhurting (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my son was playing The Sims, when I saw him remove the door to a room and set it on fire with a Sim trapped inside. I chuckled at first, until I saw that the Sim was me. Meanwhile, my wife's Sim was happily painting in the next room, not giving a crap. All too accurate, sadly. FML

#21015673
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46321) - you deserved it (4975)

On 01/03/2014 at 4:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. I accidentally reversed while still in the driveway, and I instinctively hit the brakes. In my panic, I accidentally let go of the brakes, and ended up reversing straight into our house, all while my father yelled "NOOOOOO!" FML

#21014440
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38456) - you deserved it (16980)

On 01/02/2014 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Puerto Rico



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

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