About PenguinBitch : Alderaan was the newest member of the United Federation of Planets. Unfortunately, the once stable black hole connecting Alderaan and the Federation, destabilized. The distress signal received from StarFleet was lost, leading to the destruction of Alderaan by the Galactic Empire.
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PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs
by anidiotskeeper / 07/12/2012 at 2:03am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML
by amidreaming?? / 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love
by 23yearoldtoddler / 05/18/2012 at 10:13am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/17/2012 at 12:35am / United States / Kids
Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML
by wtf dad / 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML
by Nicole / 02/19/2012 at 8:14pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML
by coleslaw / 02/03/2012 at 12:25am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Jman6295 / 01/07/2012 at 7:12pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I discovered that for the last six months my mother has been leaving my TV on FOX while I sleep, in the hope that my subconscious will absorb it and turn me into "a morally-upright human being". FML
by Anonymous / 12/16/2011 at 5:02pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I went out with a guy I really liked for the first time. He tried to hold my hands, only to be stopped by my mum, jumping out from nowhere saying "Oh no you don't!" before slapping him. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
by Anonymous / 09/25/2011 at 6:26am / Singapore / Love
by thefrightening1 / 09/05/2011 at 11:03am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Miscellaneous
by Stevie / 08/16/2011 at 2:52am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by ewww / 07/30/2011 at 10:07am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 9:31am / United States (Illinois) / Health
by Anonymous / 05/15/2011 at 12:41am / United States / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…