Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

PenguinBitch

Search for a member

PenguinBitch

43Liked!

PenguinBitchPenguinBitch
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 November 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11968
  • Number of comments : 1069
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About PenguinBitch : Good day

PenguinBitch's page activity

Visits<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - yesterday at 7:52pm<b>Ingalls9</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 9:05pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 4:04pm<b>cookiethumper</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 2:58pm<b>clairesucks</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 2:32am<b>wantmeasandwich</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 9:32am<b>zanoty</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 7:57pm<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 12:58pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 9:21am<b>bobdill</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 11:20pm<b>skylercoombs</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 6:24pm<b>Doubtful_Judge</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 2:03am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 7:43pm<b>Paul19</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 11:12pm<b>sivadnahtanoj</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 7:43pm<b>Georgia951</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 6:15pm<b>emxy92</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 7:49am<b>thedukutree123</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 3:34am

Liked!<b>clairesucks</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 7:32am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 2:21pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 12:44am<b>MehNameIsJuan</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 4:58pm<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 7:14am<b>ollis</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 7:03am<b>zikangtng</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 6:47am<b>feven</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 12:45am<b>kirbs19</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 10:04pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 8:31pm<b>ThatllDoDonkey</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 3:28am<b>iAmPaul</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 10:17pm<b>LeavenSilva</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 2:20am<b>gerardtheneko</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 9:17am<b>HyunnK</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 10:57pm<b>Azang7</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 1:32am<b>HighasaCloud</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 3:44am<b>colby6666</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 5:53pm

PenguinBitch's FML badges

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

Picture this FML

You have left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.

Colonel_Whiskers

You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!

See all of PenguinBitch's badges

PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, I went out with a guy I really liked for the first time. He tried to hold my hands, only to be stopped by my mum, jumping out from nowhere saying "Oh no you don't!" before slapping him. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

#17827987
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40772) - you deserved it (3269)

On 09/25/2011 at 6:26am - love - by Anonymous - Singapore

Today, I'm getting kicked out of my flat because my drunk friends stole a pony and left it tied outside. FML

#17669700
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26061) - you deserved it (3009)

On 09/05/2011 at 11:03am - misc - by thefrightening1 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML

#17487537
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30292) - you deserved it (3565)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Stevie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML

#17307885
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36752) - you deserved it (3700)

On 07/30/2011 at 10:07am - misc - by ewww - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at a family reunion, my dad announced to everyone that I'd finally started my menstrual cycle. My grandmother started sobbing hysterically. FML

#17092331
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40187) - you deserved it (2767)

On 07/13/2011 at 9:31am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML

#16181302
345 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77209) - you deserved it (23712)

On 05/15/2011 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

#15617038
352 comments

I agree, your life sucks (109788) - you deserved it (7725)

On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved

Today, I got banned on Club Penguin because I said "shit" while I was in a fight with another penguin about whose igloo is cooler. Shouldn't I have better things to do on a Friday night? FML

#14944563
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10386) - you deserved it (38431)

On 02/12/2011 at 1:30am - misc - by courtbabbbby (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend's parents walked in on us having sex. Not only did her dad make me walk out to my truck with no clothes on, he is my baseball coach and I will be seeing him on Monday. FML

#14944221
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32990) - you deserved it (19864)

On 02/12/2011 at 12:59am - intimacy - by Keith walk - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend, who's on a diet, refused to give me a blow job because my sperm would "add useless calories" to her day. FML

#14677100
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36682) - you deserved it (13433)

On 01/22/2011 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was "I farted". Well, at least they all laughed. FML

#14211006
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30264) - you deserved it (8151)

On 12/15/2010 at 6:57am - work - by Mike -

Today, I gave the toast at my sister's wedding which was outside. Before I started, the wind blew up my dress and wouldn't let up. Instead of giving my heartfelt speech, I spent five minutes fighting with my dress as 130 people pointed at my floral-printed underwear and laughed loudly. FML

#11511687
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29743) - you deserved it (4077)

On 06/28/2010 at 2:18am - misc - by Kim422 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I fainted for the first time in my life. I was in the shower. With my girlfriend. Apparently, my brain and my erection had a battle for who got the most blood, and my erection won. FML

#6583595
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22293) - you deserved it (3171)

On 12/03/2009 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by Silent - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, after having paid to download an iPhone FML app, I found out that the real 'Fmylife Official' app was a lot more complete. And free. FML

#6567661
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9922) - you deserved it (39921)

On 12/02/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by Fmyapp (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I finally got a date with one of the hottest girls in school, a perfect 10. Just before I go to pick her up to go to the movies, I call her to find out where she lives. She answers the phone only to hear my father yelling in the background, "stop talking to that whore." FML

#6193118
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35157) - you deserved it (4500)

On 11/07/2009 at 6:58am - love - by PISSED (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: