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PenguinBitch

51Fucked!

PenguinBitchPenguinBitch
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 November 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12551
  • Number of comments : 1078
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About PenguinBitch : Have a good day and try not to misbehave yourself. :)

PenguinBitch's page activity

Visits<b>dpxantos</b> - 3 hours ago<b>Cads1</b> - 5 hours ago<b>MaltWarrior</b> - 5 hours ago<b>jacsoccerdude3</b> - 6 hours ago<b>lmfao789</b> - 6 hours ago<b>Ilmoran</b> - 6 hours ago<b>1PersonIsMyWorld</b> - 7 hours ago<b>kayzers</b> - 7 hours ago<b>Brandi_Faith</b> - 7 hours ago<b>mattjamt</b> - 7 hours ago<b>ZelmaSlayer</b> - 7 hours ago<b>ThatDamHuntress</b> - 8 hours ago<b>taylorcheri</b> - 8 hours ago<b>sarcasm_insanity</b> - 8 hours ago<b>MidnaLink</b> - 8 hours ago<b>Drarry</b> - 8 hours ago<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - 8 hours ago<b>LoveNnyl</b> - 9 hours ago

Fucked!<b>MaltWarrior</b> - just now<b>Drarry</b> - 2 hours ago<b>LoveNnyl</b> - 3 hours ago<b>allykaymorris</b> - 4 hours ago<b>skye147</b> - 6 hours ago<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 12:57am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 8:43pm<b>mwali02</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 9:53pm<b>clairesucks</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 7:32am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 2:21pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 12:44am<b>MehNameIsJuan</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 4:58pm<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 7:14am<b>ollis</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 7:03am<b>zikangtng</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 6:47am<b>feven</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 12:45am<b>kirbs19</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 10:04pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 8:31pm

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How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

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PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML

#21298452
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43244) - you deserved it (3409)

On 11/13/2014 at 5:20pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

#21292770
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36464) - you deserved it (2427)

On 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by spooked - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML

#21281977
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30024) - you deserved it (4769)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:38pm - misc - by Anonymos_fmler - United States (Illinois)

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37259) - you deserved it (11279)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving with my grandma and she was going 30 over the speed limit. To slow her down, I said, "Hey look, the police". She slammed on the brakes so hard I hit my head on the dashboard. FML

#21279207
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31593) - you deserved it (15678)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:56pm - misc - by karmaaa - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26609) - you deserved it (53230)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I watched from my office window as a couple maneuvered their car to squash a dead pigeon flat on the road. I then watched as they got out of the car, set up tripods and started taking photos of it. FML

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31525) - you deserved it (14507)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a customer was looking for some decking materials. I took her around the store and pointed out some nice plywood, noting that it's also fire-retardant, which might interest her. She got pissed off and bitched me out for supposedly calling her a retard. FML

#21270214
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31621) - you deserved it (2628)

On 10/03/2014 at 5:13pm - work - by hopeless (man) - Canada

Today, I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with blood-red water, motionless and staring blankly at the ceiling. I started screaming and crying, and he burst into laughter at his "hilarious" prank. He only seemed regretful that his video camera hadn't been recording properly. FML

#21261267
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36948) - you deserved it (3457)

On 09/19/2014 at 1:58pm - misc - by TuT (woman) - France

Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML

#21261205
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34748) - you deserved it (4399)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was walking my dogs when a woman at a bus stop quite rudely exclaimed, "Keep those mutts away from my kid". I replied just as rudely that I wouldn't want them anywhere near her dirty sprog. It was then we both realised she was a customer that I regularly talk to at work. FML

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

#21250887
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45423) - you deserved it (5927)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43302) - you deserved it (8728)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I saw someone purposely drive into someone's garbage can with their car. Trying to be nice, I stopped and started to pick it up. As I did, the owner came out of his house and chased me away with a knife. FML

#21250496
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36825) - you deserved it (3485)

On 09/02/2014 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)



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