About PenguinBitch : Alderaan was the newest member of the United Federation of Planets. Unfortunately, the once stable black hole connecting Alderaan and the Federation, destabilized. The distress signal received from StarFleet was lost, leading to the destruction of Alderaan by the Galactic Empire.
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PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs
Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML
by danielzcwu / 12/29/2014 at 2:11pm / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Transportation
Today, I posted a photo on Facebook showing a side-by-side view of me before and after I'd tried out my new makeup. My dad commented, "What is this, Gollum cosplaying an Orc?" My mum, brother, and over 20 "friends" liked his comment. FML
by Anonymous / 12/19/2014 at 2:36pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Geek
by lonesome / 12/14/2014 at 10:22pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years after eating in a 5-star restaurant. She said that she wasn't ready and that she would walk home by herself, which she did. A homeless gentleman walked up from behind me, patted me on the back and said, "Bitches man." I cried. FML
by Brasilian29 / 12/11/2014 at 7:01am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said "avada kedavra". She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML
by Anonymous / 12/10/2014 at 2:58pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/08/2014 at 6:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML
by terdberglerforlyfe / 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm / Brazil (Sao Paulo) / Kids
by Studying is for crazy people. / 11/21/2014 at 11:36pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by UTRejected / 11/21/2014 at 8:51am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/13/2014 at 9:14pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals
by Anonymous / 11/13/2014 at 5:20pm / United States / Animals
by spooked / 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML
by Anonymos_fmler / 10/20/2014 at 8:38pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by John / 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by karmaaa / 10/16/2014 at 4:56pm / United States (Iowa) / Transportation
- Today, I'm looking after three little girls, aged 3, 5 and 7 years old. We're watching Bambi, and… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,…