PenguinBitch

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PenguinBitch

92Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 November 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 18202
  • Number of comments : 1126
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About PenguinBitch : Alderaan was the newest member of the United Federation of Planets. Unfortunately, the once stable black hole connecting Alderaan and the Federation, destabilized. The distress signal received from StarFleet was lost, leading to the destruction of Alderaan by the Galactic Empire.

There's so much going on here now. what to do

PenguinBitch's page activity

Visits<b>Helldemon</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 4:58pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 10:39pm<b>UPTDraco</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 3:45pm<b>peeta0330</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 9:28am<b>LaprasTV</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 8:30am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 6:50pm<b>ciaraash</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 4:57am<b>demonpuppeh</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 1:24am<b>JulietMarie</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 9:03am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 12:43pm<b>LittlePengy</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 12:32am<b>jojocircus19</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 4:09am<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 1:05pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 3:54am<b>43bubba34</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 8:45am<b>Sudoc</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 7:03am<b>lizgb80</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 7:56am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 9:51pm

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 12:50am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 6:43pm<b>jojocircus19</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 10:09am<b>Masturdebater</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 9:42pm<b>MrsDovahkiin</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 12:02pm<b>TripleDallas123</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 6:43am<b>ciaraash</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 11:51pm<b>jay11kpt</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 7:41am<b>ManUtdFan743</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 6:36am<b>klutz44</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 3:10am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 9:01am<b>LittlePengy</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 2:24am<b>CaletheLion</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 1:30am<b>spencerpajari</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 7:18am<b>Death_The_Kid15</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 4:52am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 5:36am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 10:08am<b>IdntNOthePASS</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 1:26am

PenguinBitch's FML badges

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PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, I posted a photo on Facebook showing a side-by-side view of me before and after I'd tried out my new makeup. My dad commented, "What is this, Gollum cosplaying an Orc?" My mum, brother, and over 20 "friends" liked his comment. FML

by Anonymous / 12/19/2014 at 2:36pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Geek

Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML

by lonesome / 12/14/2014 at 10:22pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years after eating in a 5-star restaurant. She said that she wasn't ready and that she would walk home by herself, which she did. A homeless gentleman walked up from behind me, patted me on the back and said, "Bitches man." I cried. FML

by Brasilian29 / 12/11/2014 at 7:01am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said "avada kedavra". She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2014 at 2:58pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, my mother has issued a 'Christmas Ultimatum'. The rest of us have exactly 2 days to "get some Christmas around here" or we will feel her wrath. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2014 at 6:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

by terdberglerforlyfe / 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm / Brazil (Sao Paulo) / Kids

Today, I was studying for my Spanish midterm nonstop. After I closed my book, I was so tired that I thought that my cat was asking me questions in Spanish. FML

by Studying is for crazy people. / 11/21/2014 at 11:36pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was selling winter-themed cookies at my university. I cheerfully asked a girl if she would like to buy cookies to support peer tutoring. Her response? "I don't eat food." FML

by UTRejected / 11/21/2014 at 8:51am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2014 at 9:14pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2014 at 5:20pm / United States / Animals

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

by spooked / 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML

by Anonymos_fmler / 10/20/2014 at 8:38pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

by John / 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was driving with my grandma and she was going 30 over the speed limit. To slow her down, I said, "Hey look, the police". She slammed on the brakes so hard I hit my head on the dashboard. FML

by karmaaa / 10/16/2014 at 4:56pm / United States (Iowa) / Transportation

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous