PenguinBitch

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PenguinBitch

94Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Los Angeles, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 November 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 20734
  • Number of comments : 1129
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About PenguinBitch : Alderaan was the newest member of the United Federation of Planets. Unfortunately, the once stable black hole connecting Alderaan and the Federation, destabilized. The distress signal received from StarFleet was lost, leading to the destruction of Alderaan by the Galactic Empire.

PenguinBitch's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 11/29/2016 at 7:31am<b>JacobIsANoob</b> - the 11/01/2016 at 5:46pm<b>lutessiarose</b> - the 10/18/2016 at 7:47pm<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 10/10/2016 at 2:40pm<b>cuz803</b> - the 10/05/2016 at 9:25pm<b>ecot95</b> - the 09/29/2016 at 5:42am<b>Zeldawarriorxo</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 12:00pm<b>TigranPet</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 1:06am<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 4:31pm<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 8:21pm<b>Jaraxxus</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 11:32pm<b>pandor</b> - the 07/01/2016 at 8:34pm<b>Helldemon</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 4:58pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 10:39pm<b>UPTDraco</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 3:45pm<b>peeta0330</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 9:28am<b>LaprasTV</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 8:30am<b>ciaraash</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 4:57am

Fucked!<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 10/10/2016 at 8:41pm<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 10:31pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 12:50am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 6:43pm<b>jojocircus19</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 10:09am<b>Masturdebater</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 9:42pm<b>MrsDovahkiin</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 12:02pm<b>TripleDallas123</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 6:43am<b>ciaraash</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 11:51pm<b>jay11kpt</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 7:41am<b>ManUtdFan743</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 6:36am<b>klutz44</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 3:10am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 9:01am<b>LittlePengy</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 2:24am<b>CaletheLion</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 1:30am<b>spencerpajari</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 7:18am<b>Death_The_Kid15</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 4:52am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 5:36am

PenguinBitch's FML badges

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You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

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How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

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PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, my family, grandma included, took some time to discuss whether or not olive oil is a suitable substitute for lube. FML

by Uh_Oh_Bro / 07/24/2016 at 1:58pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my psycho ex girlfriend got up in my face after I dumped her. She said I'm going to pay and that one day, when I think I'm safe and happy, my joy will turn to ash in my mouth. When I pointed out she'd just ripped off a Game of Thrones quote, she kneed me in the balls. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2015 at 10:42pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I woke up with a electric dog collar on my neck. I wouldn't have noticed it until my stepfather turned the collar to the highest intensity just to wake me up. FML

by izaya / 07/05/2015 at 12:26pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, after constant avoidance, I saw the man who slept with my mother and caused my parents to get divorced. I desperately wanted to punch him in the face, but instead I had to smile and shake his hand as he gave me my diploma. FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2015 at 1:41pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said, "Sure, but not yet." As we've been together for five years, I was a bit confused, but she cleared that up with, "Not until your dad has died, I don't want him to ruin my wedding with a bad toast." FML

by inheritance / 05/05/2015 at 10:44am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Love

Today, I was supposed to light candles at my aunt's wedding. I accidentally lit the groom on fire. FML

by why? / 05/01/2015 at 9:41am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me, all because he thought I was a communist, a sinner, and a terrorist, simply because I think the gay rights are OK, because I agree with some feminists, and because I got blonde highlights in my hair. FML

by Confusedblonde / 04/29/2015 at 11:31pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend for the first time. I moved my leg to wrap it around him and accidentally hit his penis. Without thinking, I said, "Sorry little guy!" FML

by MiniJeans / 04/29/2015 at 10:25pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my mom announced my pregnancy to the entire family via Facebook with the post, "Just went from a MILF to a GILF in one moment of unprotected sex." FML

Today, my mom told me that if I wanted to commit suicide, I should make it seem like a car accident, and not do it in the house, because she would be too embarrassed if people thought she was a bad parent. FML

by WasNotAdopted / 04/28/2015 at 9:26am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I felt unappreciated. She found it appropriate to sarcastically say, "Oh no, how will I ever be able to open my jars?" FML

by tumbleshay / 03/20/2015 at 9:32pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her: "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home with no shopping. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2015 at 2:16pm / Kids

Today, I bought a small tub of coconut pieces in a bid to eat healthier snacks at work. I noticed that the chunks were a bit slimy, but thought nothing of it and kept eating. It wasn't until I reached the final few pieces that I noticed a huge black slug crawling across the bottom of the tub. FML

by goodbyediet / 01/30/2015 at 6:00am / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started at my new job. Turns out my boss is a complete douchebag. He spent most of the day looking over our shoulders and making cuntish comments about our work, then called a guy a piece of shit for farting and forced him to spray disinfectant on his chair. FML

by Mishlette / 01/23/2015 at 8:27am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Work

Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that The Interview wasn't a documentary and that Kim Jong-un wasn't actually assassinated by a pair of goofy reporters. FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2015 at 1:11pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids