Peeves

Search for a member

Offline (the 09/23/2014 at 4:19am)

Peeves

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1902
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Peeves : A poltergeist at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, since c. 993. Fond of mischief and chaos, he is a constant pain to the school and its inhabitants, especially Argus Filch, the caretaker, as the only ones able to control him are the Bloody Baron and Albus Dumbledore.

Peeves's page activity

Visits<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 5:02pm<b>Wolfo06</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 12:38pm<b>xxdreamloverxx</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 9:53pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 11:58pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 6:41am<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 6:58pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 8:28pm<b>Myorafield</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 7:10am<b>dogshorsescats</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 2:25pm<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 12:00pm<b>bitchs_and_hoes</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 4:41am<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 5:42am<b>kjlancaster</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 11:58pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 8:05pm<b>oops6663</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 7:10pm<b>lovebugs7204</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 10:13pm<b>brytonhansen</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 3:28pm<b>TheFuckGiver1230</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 5:31pm

Fucked!<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 11:02pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 1:05am

Peeves's FML badges

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Peeves's badges

Peeves's favorite FMLs

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation / 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML

by criminal tit offender / 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I moved into my new place. It evidently used to belong to a hooker, because although I've only lived here for 9 hours, so far several different men have knocked on my door and asked if "Stephanie" is available for a good time. FML

by Anonymous / 08/31/2013 at 3:24am / United Kingdom (Redbridge) / Miscellaneous

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

by Thanks everyone / 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, I won a lottery at my local grocery store. Excited, I went to claim my prize, only to discover it was a bottle of red wine. I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML

by notsolucky / 08/28/2013 at 5:47pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught my sister eating crayons. She's 19. FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2013 at 5:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 5:11am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

Today, I was at a job interview for a position I really needed. Somehow, the interviewer and I started talking about fishing. I joked, "I'm a master baiter." Needless to say, I didn't get the job. FML

by master baiter / 08/12/2013 at 1:11pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I found out why my doctor told me not to mix pain killers with alcohol when I was told that last night I tried to convince a group of teenage tourists that I was one of the nitwits from One Direction, and then got miffed when they laughed at me. FML

by JustSayNo / 08/11/2013 at 7:23pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Health

Today, I ran into my shitlord of an ex at the store. He took one look at me, yelled "You cheating bitch!" in a wounded voice, then walked away, fake-crying. I got so many dirty looks. The worst part is that I dumped him last month for cheating on me with my "best friend." FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2013 at 5:18pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2013 at 4:03am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML

by hardee fucking har yourself, sir / 08/07/2013 at 6:00pm / United Kingdom (Stockport) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

by awkward / 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm / United States (California) / Intimacy