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Peachy2392's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Peachy2392's favorite FMLs
by countryblumpkin / 08/01/2013 at 2:06pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, as I was enjoying a nice fish salad, my father looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Ahh, salmon. The 'other' pink meat", then winked suggestively at my mother. I don't think I can ever eat fish again. FML
by ugh / 07/04/2013 at 2:28pm / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Intimacy
Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML
by Never Going Back To The Doctor / 07/04/2013 at 3:03am / United States / Intimacy
Today, one of my boyfriend's friends commented on how small my boobs are. My boyfriend defended me, saying it was only because I was wearing a sports bra. I wasn't. It was the push-up bra he bought me. FML
by Anonymous / 05/25/2013 at 7:12pm / United States / Love
Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML
by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Missouri) / Love
by smokeysarah94 / 03/03/2013 at 8:17pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Ape / 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML
by FlyingFist / 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my brother decided to join me on my first date. Not only did he answer the door with a bat, he also got inside the car and sat next to my date, pushing me to the back. He stayed the entire time, and walked me back to the house. My mom laughed and gave him $20. It was a dare. FML
by Mmkay1515 / 11/12/2012 at 10:47pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by Andrew / 10/30/2012 at 2:08am / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML
by linn / 09/27/2012 at 4:14pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/07/2012 at 1:08am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by chrisbravo / 08/23/2012 at 2:54am / United States / Money
by zstarr / 07/14/2012 at 7:15am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation
- Today, my long-distance boyfriend arrived, took off my bra and told my boobs, "I missed you guys",… Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno… Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex in his car. He got out of the car and moved to the…