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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1089
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ParisMilton93 : My name's Leigh, from engkand

ParisMilton93's page activity

Visits<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 9:41am<b>smrn95</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 3:07pm<b>IAm123</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 9:37pm<b>dannnngthatsux</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 11:37pm<b>Arkajion</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 5:10pm<b>poncho55</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 5:49pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 4:45pm<b>ladystate</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 2:16pm<b>Calaraphea</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 10:00pm<b>Jellybellybeanz</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 10:49am<b>Vball6</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 11:09pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 8:30pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 1:21pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 7:12am<b>matt1138</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 5:19pm<b>augiedd</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 12:03am<b>jaybee_23</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 10:47pm<b>_monicaamariee</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 1:07am

Fucked!<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 3:43pm

ParisMilton93's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of ParisMilton93's badges

ParisMilton93's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, my mom is convinced that my cat is the reincarnation of Vincent van Gogh. Why? He sleeps under my sunflowers and is a ginger tabby cat. FML

by KatVanGogh / 08/25/2013 at 9:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

by ANON / 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm / Belgium (West-Vlaanderen) / Intimacy

Today, I walked into an elderly man's room in the hospital I work to give him his food. After he struggled to sit up, I noticed his hand move down towards his crotch. He looked me straight in the eye and said, "I have to do this to my scrotum because it gets sweaty and sticks to my leg." FML

by scrotumscratcher / 07/25/2013 at 1:20am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my husband was chased out of a bar after he was seen slipping something into a woman's drink. I was the woman, the 'something' was aspirin, and that's the last time we ever try to role-play. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

by Stacy / 07/13/2013 at 12:22am / United States / Love

Today, my seven-year-old son put a spider in the microwave. Animal cruelty? No. The goal was to irradiate it, then get it to bite him so that he would become Spider-Man. FML

by SpiderFather / 07/02/2013 at 4:01am / France / Kids

Today, I saw mice eating from my cat's food dish, again. Where is my cat? He's busy bringing in more mice, birds, and once even an unharmed chipmunk through his cat door. FML

by DolphinGirl369 / 06/07/2013 at 12:33am / United States (Iowa) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, while at the movies, I had an uncomfortable amount of gas that I couldn't hold in any longer. I waited for a loud part in the movie to conceal it and took my chance. Problem was, the loud part ended abruptly. I didn't. FML

by Cristoforo / 05/25/2013 at 4:19am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, it was my wedding. Every good wedding has slutty wedding sex, and I thought it would be over after my cousin and his girlfriend were caught in the parking lot. I was wrong, the sluttiest wedding sex goes to my drunk husband and sister in the coat room. FML

by lizzie / 05/25/2013 at 2:55am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, while at a hospital, a prayer group circled me and started praying that God and the good doctors and nurses would heal me from the disease that disfigured my face. I was there to visit my sick grandmother. FML

by chinatownhobo / 04/08/2013 at 2:12am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Health

Today, my parents told me that I'm no longer allowed to come home from boarding school on weekends because it will confuse my cats and disrupt their lives. FML

by incendiaaa / 02/24/2013 at 6:17am / Australia / Animals

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

by NewlyDread / 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love