Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

PandaSmile

Online | Search for a member

PandaSmile

297Fucked!

PandaSmilePandaSmile
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 February 1993 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12440
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About PandaSmile : 🍷🍫⛵️

PandaSmile's page activity

Visits<b>Helipilot86</b> - 15 hours ago<b>pineapplejuicy</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 8:59am<b>iMuffinKat</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 12:31pm<b>igg125</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 5:13pm<b>jman1324</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 2:31pm<b>ninjuh_wingman</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 5:16pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 1:26pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 1:20pm<b>trevieh47</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 1:54am<b>kawayi</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 12:25am<b>Classy_Sassy15</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 10:15pm<b>Elgaard</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 4:14am<b>krazy789</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 1:45pm<b>JayL80</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 1:08am<b>FlamingColor</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 5:42pm<b>itssnotfunny</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 3:48pm<b>davila59</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 10:48am<b>MissMayLaw001</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 9:12am

Fucked!<b>Classy_Sassy15</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 4:15am<b>itssnotfunny</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 9:48pm<b>ekimen</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 1:50am<b>ihartmytdi</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 10:03pm<b>CallMeWindSock</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 8:20am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 2:38am<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 1:39am<b>AscendV</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 12:46am<b>schreibergx93</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 10:18pm<b>SpeedRacer20</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 8:37pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 3:08am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 2:53pm<b>XxMuFaSaxX</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 2:56pm<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 8:52pm<b>JayL80</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 9:51am<b>SteveLo420</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 7:14am<b>apcsox</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 10:05pm<b>kyle_s_97</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 3:54pm

PandaSmile's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of PandaSmile's badges

PandaSmile's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

#18202922
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33551) - you deserved it (23847)

On 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad was putting seasoning salt into his mashed potatoes, when the lid came off and poured a ton of salt into the pot. My parents hate wasting food, so we still had to eat it. I think my taste buds are broken. FML

Today, I discovered that my dog is an aspiring underwear designer, her latest project being creating crotchless underwear. Mine seem to have been used as prototypes. FML

#18200720
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28527) - you deserved it (3915)

On 11/09/2011 at 9:48am - animals - by blacktyaffair - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't follow her latest fad of becoming a goth, which involves dressing like an undertaker's haunted hearse and putting on eyeliner. Last week she was into Reggae and beanie hats. FML

#18200183
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32212) - you deserved it (13009)

On 11/09/2011 at 7:27am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML

#18191670
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43044) - you deserved it (4209)

On 11/08/2011 at 9:01am - kids - by possiblyoverweight (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

#18190231
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47289) - you deserved it (8312)

On 11/08/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by lunarstrain - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my recently ex-girlfriend's mother called me regarding her baby girl, saying, "If you mess with the chicklet, you mess with the momma hen." I have no idea what the hell this means for my future, but I'm a bit scared. FML

#18181651
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32782) - you deserved it (5237)

On 11/07/2011 at 2:20am - love - by roadkill0321 - United States

Today, I learned that all it takes to anger my sister's new parrot is to walk past its perch. I also learned that a beak over two inches long is very capable of inflicting injuries that require stitches. FML

#18144949
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26403) - you deserved it (3974)

On 11/03/2011 at 2:22am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML

#18135742
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31913) - you deserved it (3650)

On 11/02/2011 at 1:06am - misc - by steve-o - United States

Today, I was called ugly and viciously ridiculed by a couple of teenage girls. They were wearing uggs and vests that made them look like a freak-show of bleached pomeranians. FML

#18111338
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32173) - you deserved it (3009)

On 10/30/2011 at 12:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML

#18108392
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44105) - you deserved it (24297)

On 10/30/2011 at 1:31am - intimacy - by Korisite - United States

Today, my roomate informed me that her snake was missing in our apartment again. Apparently, I need to be careful because the snake's attracted to blood. I'm on my period. FML

#18093315
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34492) - you deserved it (2896)

On 10/27/2011 at 11:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44622) - you deserved it (5658)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44622) - you deserved it (5658)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, for my birthday, instead of a cake, my friends surprised me with a castle mainly made out of bacon. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I fucking hate bacon. FML

#18079662
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25454) - you deserved it (48714)

On 10/26/2011 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: