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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 October 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1253
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About PaintedTempest : I'm a cowgirl. My name is Elizabeth. My user name is based on my paint horse, Tempest.

Message me if you like. I like to chat. :) P.S. I'm not a stalker. At least I don't think I am. O.O

I love horses. We have 6 on our farm and I own three. I rodeo...barrel race to be exact and competitive ranch sorting. I also pole bend. I sort, cut, and herd cows. I jump, but I've never rode an English saddle. I do all of this on one horse, Snip.

Fav song: Cheater Cheater
Fav artist: Josh Abbot Band
Fav food: Steak
Fav animal: Horse
Fav color: Purple
Fav movie: The Hunger Games
Fav soda: Sprite
Fav drink: Orange Juice
Fav sport: Equestrian.
So, do me a favor. Hug a tree, talk to a brick wall, push a door that says pull, kiss a cow, and many more crazy, stupid things. Basically, imitate me. :) Yes I know...I have issues but am well loved :) (don't do what I say. You might wind up hurt)

PaintedTempest's page activity

Visits<b>Zaska</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 9:59am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 12:20am<b>poofnuggets</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 6:06am<b>Dodopy</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 8:31am<b>madsmay</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 4:11am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 12:54pm<b>hillbillyboy1993</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 5:08pm<b>thedeadmen</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 1:20pm<b>XcRunner72</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 4:21pm<b>marykaitlyn</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 9:51am<b>QQMorePlox</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 3:58am<b>crackmore278</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 11:13am<b>k_gils</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 2:18pm<b>ThePaul007</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 1:57am<b>cowleybh</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 2:29pm<b>CorpsmanUp88</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 1:28am<b>shibeep</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 6:46am<b>capnbzarr</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 8:47pm

Fucked!<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 6:20am

PaintedTempest's FML badges

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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PaintedTempest's favorite FMLs

Today, when I got back to my dorm, I found a trail of ants trying to shove a dead roach into a power outlet. The front desk insists that there is no pest problem. FML

by TheRoad42 / 08/20/2013 at 8:54am / United States (Louisiana) / Animals

Today, I had to endure my girlfriend crying and screaming at me. The reason? I'm not able to please her like the fictional character Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey. When she left me, she took all her stuff and left me with copies of the 3 books. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2013 at 4:06am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my sister had an emotional breakdown because two guys love her and she can't pick just one. Meanwhile I'm single and spend my time laying treats on my floor in a pattern and watching my rabbit run in circles. FML

by Having a pretty sister sucks. / 08/18/2013 at 9:36pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 5:11am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

Today, my little brother told me to give him my phone so he could play a game on it. I said no, because I was taking a call from a friend at the time. He then walked over to the wall, headbutted it, burst into tears, then told my parents that I punched him. They believed him. FML

by rachel / 08/10/2013 at 4:56pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Kids

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

by zackeryburch / 08/03/2013 at 9:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I placed a Bible app next to an app I use for porn, in the hope that it will encourage me to watch less porn. I'm a girl. FML

by lilly1105 / 07/15/2013 at 9:19am / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML

by mile high clubber / 07/14/2013 at 6:41am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the movies. When the "love scene" came on, she leaned over and made out with the wrong man. FML

by a man / 07/13/2013 at 9:20am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I had a dream about marrying Hitler. I've had this same dream three times now. My subconscious is starting to scare me. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2013 at 3:11am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, my fiancé paid a visit to my parents so he could ask my dad's permission to marry me. My dad responded with, "Why buy the cow when you can milk it for free?" FML

by Gracie-Ann / 07/01/2013 at 2:38am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I took my cat to the vet. The creepy vet looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't the only pussy I'll be checking out today." FML

by o_O / 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2013 at 10:28am / United States / Animals

Today, while running, a man ran up next to me and started jogging with me. He asked if he could run with me and I said yes. Later, when I told him I was going home, he followed me home. When I asked him to leave, he say down on my lawn in protest. He has been there for over 4 hours. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2013 at 12:26am / United States / Miscellaneous