Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Ozzien

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

Ozzien

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 16 January 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1166
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Ozzien : Meow.

Books: Legend by Marie Lu, Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin

Video games: Ace Attorney, Portal, Ghost Trick

Ozzien's page activity

Visits<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 8:15pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 9:50pm<b>Rozza17</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 5:19pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 9:15am<b>TanzWolf</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 3:19pm<b>Tinii</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 1:48pm<b>saba_ajira</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 1:38pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 9:51am<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 12:55pm<b>Loomunati</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 9:23am<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 9:07am<b>WildDeerbra</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 7:33am<b>Bebbo</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 6:00pm<b>CaptainFoxbutt</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 11:40pm<b>Karma_karma</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 11:39pm<b>jehdj</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 10:45am<b>FMLkoala</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 6:21am<b>saidoh</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 11:00pm

Ozzien's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Ozzien's badges

Ozzien's favorite FMLs

Today, my teacher took my test along with another student's and gave us both a zero. Why? Because we both have colds so when we breathe through our nose it makes a sniffle noise. She thought we were using a secret code to communicate by sniffling. FML

#21380083
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33445) - you deserved it (2080)

On 03/23/2015 at 11:43am - misc - by Mr. Sniffles - United States (Ohio)

Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up and attacked my face. FML

#21379871
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26933) - you deserved it (2969)

On 03/23/2015 at 12:42am - animals - by birdsterrifyme - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

#21367918
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23369) - you deserved it (33002)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, at work, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head on my cash register. A second later, I heard roaring laughter from the security room, followed by someone saying to play it back. I'd almost convinced myself it wasn't about me, when one of the guys came out and gave me a thumb up. FML

#21349710
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33663) - you deserved it (2976)

On 02/04/2015 at 2:28pm - work - by fxck (woman) -

Today, my 15 year old sister asked which animal rice comes from. She believed every word when my mum told her it's harvested from tiny cows in Asia. FML

#21340484
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27806) - you deserved it (2269)

On 01/19/2015 at 7:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had a sneeze attack while my nose was bleeding. Now my living room looks like a crime scene. FML

#21332502
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33852) - you deserved it (2796)

On 01/07/2015 at 2:07am - misc - by MonsterProblems (woman) - Croatia

Today, my vegetarian girlfriend put some ghost pepper hot sauce on my steak to teach me a "lesson" about eating meat. FML

#21330517
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35155) - you deserved it (4839)

On 01/04/2015 at 5:27am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me. I'm a massage/physical therapist and treat clients, mostly athletes, in my home. My neighbours saw the steady stream of young, buff guys coming to my house and concluded that I'm a gay prostitute. FML

#21327463
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33225) - you deserved it (2643)

On 12/30/2014 at 10:34pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, I accidentally texted my mother instead of my drug dealer. FML

#21324443
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16769) - you deserved it (47824)

On 12/26/2014 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to my retail job to buy some clothing. As soon as I walked through the doors, my manager yelled at me for not being in appropriate work clothes. I tried to explain that I was off the clock but he was having none of it. I got written up. FML

#21322497
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32247) - you deserved it (2619)

On 12/23/2014 at 3:14am - work - by I hate my job - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I spent a quarter of an hour trying to figure out why my car wouldn't unlock, then why my number plate had changed. FML

#21322036
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19341) - you deserved it (22985)

On 12/22/2014 at 11:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Birmingham)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: