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Ozzien

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Ozzien
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 16 January 1997 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 77
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Ozzien : Meow.

Books: Legend by Marie Lu, Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin

Video games: Ace Attorney, Portal, Ghost Trick

Ozzien's last visitors

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Ozzien's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Ozzien's badges

Ozzien's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

#21114169
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34022) - you deserved it (5909)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:48pm - health - by Nose bleed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after a dental appointment, my lips were numb. On the bus on my way back home, the cutest girl smiled at me. In attempt to smile back, I forgot my lips were numb and ended up spitting my chewing gum at her. I had to switch buses. FML

#21112602
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38537) - you deserved it (4655)

On 04/14/2014 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML

#21079127
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35804) - you deserved it (14226)

On 03/05/2014 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)

Today, I confessed my love for the girl I like, on the forum she moderates. She responded by banning me. FML

#21074335
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33556) - you deserved it (13845) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/28/2014 at 4:26pm - love - by Depirama (man) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24168) - you deserved it (53342)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, two days after sending her flowers for Valentine's Day, my dream girl asked me on a date. She didn't show up. Her boyfriend did though. FML

#21062645
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44119) - you deserved it (8621)

On 02/16/2014 at 5:47pm - love - by bruisedandconfused (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML

#21061154
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49060) - you deserved it (4610)

On 02/15/2014 at 2:11am - work - by chinaski7628 - United States (California)

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29682) - you deserved it (45283)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was waiting in line at a clothes store when someone cut in in front of me, and the gentlemen in front of me. I shouted, "Hey! Queue starts back here!". He responded by pointing out the "gentlemen" in front was actually a very realistic mannequin. FML

#21056589
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32996) - you deserved it (14392)

On 02/10/2014 at 7:45pm - misc - by QueueJumper (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML

#21049132
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39907) - you deserved it (3694)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:29am - health - by Sleepless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was singing in the shower but couldn't hit the higher notes. My wife complained and 2 minutes later she ran a tap causing my shower to go freezing. I shrieked. My wife said my pitch was still wrong. FML

#21048056
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37976) - you deserved it (7516)

On 02/02/2014 at 11:53am - misc - by deargodthepain (man) - United States

Today, my mom announced to everyone that she wants at least ten grandchildren. I'm an only child. FML

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML

#21015691
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57307) - you deserved it (6635)

On 01/03/2014 at 5:08pm - intimacy - by notsohandy (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message. Every 20 minutes or so, I'll get a notification that I have a new message, and I check it just to find that same message sitting there. I'm being trolled by my own phone. FML

#21012505
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40936) - you deserved it (3070)

On 01/01/2014 at 2:49am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)



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