Ozzien

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Ozzien

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 16 January 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3578
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About Ozzien : Meow.

Ozzien's page activity

Visits<b>madinphernelia</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 10:47pm<b>kcl729</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 3:02pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 10:06am<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 4:43pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 8:01am<b>xxcamxx15</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 10:54pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 2:20pm<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 1:20pm<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 4:19am<b>isnobodyhere</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 3:23pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 2:10am<b>netflixislove</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 12:09am<b>WoodKiller</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 12:01am<b>HerpNdurp88</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 11:08am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 9:30am<b>tiger820</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 9:28am<b>3051628</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 1:43pm<b>Rithvikhari</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 11:58pm

Fucked!<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 10:19am<b>isnobodyhere</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 9:23pm<b>3051628</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 8:32pm<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 2:39am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 7:34pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 4:06am

Ozzien's FML badges

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Inception

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Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

See all of Ozzien's badges

Ozzien's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized how stagnant my life has become when, while eating some leftover salad with crackers I'd left out the night before, I decided to open some new crackers and put them with the stale, and giggled to myself about the excitement of "cracker roulette." FML

by amandanoelle / 10/09/2016 at 2:42am / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally shut the door on someone who was walking behind me. After he opened the door, I turned, looked him sincerely in the eye and said, "Suffering". I meant to say sorry. FML

by Crawlinginmymemes / 10/02/2016 at 2:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was told I have narcolepsy, and I've it for a year and a half. When asked why I didn't go to a doctor before, I answered that I'd always assumed it was a normal adult thing to fall asleep randomly because of how everyone says they're always exhausted. Apparently not. FML

by littlekellilee / 09/16/2016 at 12:27am / Canada / Health

Today, my babysitter told me to find a replacement, so I tried to bribe her into staying by offering her a raise. She told me that the money would be better spent on an exorcist. FML

by MumMatters / 09/09/2016 at 6:26am / Germany (Hamburg) / Kids

Today, I walked into a wall, smashing my laptop into the top of my eye socket. This was all because I was carrying my laptop, phone and chocolate mug cake, all while trying to watch Netflix on said laptop. I feel like a 2016 cliché. FML

by justplaindumb / 08/03/2016 at 8:48pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, while updating my résumé, I noticed that in my list of achievements it said "Torturing middle school students". I meant "tutoring", but I guess this explains why I'm still unemployed a year after I started looking for a job. FML

by fuckel4 / 07/01/2016 at 4:12pm / United States (Arkansas) / Work

Today, my therapist told me to write down my goals for the next five years. After thinking hard for what seemed like forever, all I could come up with was getting a girlfriend and having an FML published. And to be honest, I'm not even sure about that first one. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2016 at 1:03am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I'm so tired from constantly soothing my crying 2-month-old baby that I've started trying to soothe inanimate objects with baby talk when they make a noise. My fridge stated beeping and I began an involuntary chorus of, 'It's OK darling, shhhhhh, it's alright.' FML

by Babyhazy / 06/05/2016 at 5:52pm / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, due to me not looking, I accidentally bit an apple made of styrofoam that was meant to be a part of a display on the kitchen table. My roommates were there and me not wanting to embarrass myself by putting it back, I walked out, apple in hand, to throw it away elsewhere. FML

by Cinnanyan / 06/02/2016 at 6:20am / Philippines (Quezon City) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I both got smart watches. We were running around, acting like we were in a James Bond movie, having fun. Until our neighbors called the cops on us for hiding in their bushes. FML

by nykkymcallister / 05/18/2016 at 11:07pm / United States (Maryland) / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at a mini arcade and accidentally put a hundred dollar bill through the quarter machine. FML

by aianmoo16 / 05/01/2016 at 5:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Money

Today, I saw my cat licking something on the side of the road and went to check what it was. It was someone's old cigarette. I now know why she wants to be let out so often: She's addicted to nicotine. FML

by Emmaraine189 / 04/27/2016 at 10:22pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals

Today, my roommate's shopping addiction reached a whole new level. He bought a box of tampons just because they were 40% off. Yes, he. FML

by Roomie pay rent plz / 04/23/2016 at 9:25pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, while using the leg press at the gym, some guy thought he could use more weight than me since I look really young. He hurt himself. He then blamed me and tried to get me kicked out. FML

by Shotacon / 04/06/2016 at 11:06pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I noticed that both my managers completely ignored me when I told them that I'm fully booked, and can't take any more clients. Both of them scheduled additional clients. At the same. Three people from different companies will show up at my office at the same time. Yep. FML

by O / 04/03/2016 at 11:38pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Work