Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Owlnight321

Offline (24 minutes ago) | Search for a member

Owlnight321

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 3 July 2000 (14 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5925
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Owlnight321 : Rawrz

Owlnight321's page activity

Visits<b>FitFriday</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 3:49pm<b>dusthar</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 7:40pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 9:46pm<b>venomousddog</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 10:12am<b>5secondsofvvifi</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 1:21pm<b>Kirito_Kazuto</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 3:49pm<b>KaneHunter</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 11:40pm<b>TheGothGamerGirl</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 9:46pm<b>redheadedmonster</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 1:37am<b>squidgy1234</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 1:33pm<b>eschwab11</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 2:39am<b>maxface</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 4:58pm<b>TTT33</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 11:23am<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 4:26pm<b>icetube550</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 7:38pm<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 8:13am<b>Afroninja4566</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 4:51pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 3:47am

Owlnight321's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Owlnight321's badges

Owlnight321's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to get a physical, forgetting I'd shaved my pubes the day before and still had bad razor burn. My doctor told me I had "dicken pox" and was prescribing me with shaving cream. FML

#21371826
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26976) - you deserved it (6339)

On 03/10/2015 at 12:45pm - health - by parkoursam - United States (Illinois)

Today, the CEO of my company leaned over and said, "Hey, I've been meaning to thank you…" I thought he was going to thank me for all of my hard work, but he continued, "…for wearing that shirt today. I can totally see your boobs." FML

#21354210
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33052) - you deserved it (6073)

On 02/11/2015 at 4:51pm - work - by titsmcgee (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my Breaking Bad obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks." during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML

#21347719
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30188) - you deserved it (3294)

On 02/01/2015 at 11:17am - intimacy - by SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got married. My grandpa took me aside afterwards and said that the moment the ceremony was over, he heard my wife's vagina slam shut. "Welcome to marriage, sucker," he chuckled, "It's just you and Rosy Palm now!" FML

#21347104
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27643) - you deserved it (2886)

On 01/31/2015 at 12:38am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after telling my husband he can send me dirty texts any time, he sent me one from work. It said, "Babe when I get home, I'm gonna go 9/11 on your pussy ;)". I'm still not sure he understands why that was so offensive. FML

#21347069
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26553) - you deserved it (5109)

On 01/30/2015 at 11:04pm - intimacy - by The Soul Of A Damned Queef (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that, due to the walls at my uni dorm being ridiculously thin, my entire flat overheard me lose my virginity. Spanking and all. FML

#21344108
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28311) - you deserved it (8318)

On 01/25/2015 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by Orgasmataz (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my boyfriend uploaded a pic to snapchat that said "the love of my life." It was a pic of our beautiful baby girl. Then he uploaded another pic that said "the 2nd love of my life." It was a pic of the fuel truck he drives for work. FML

#21342658
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29270) - you deserved it (3751)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:33am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I took my driving test. I was really nervous, but I thought I did pretty well in the end. That is until I parked the car and looked to the examiner. He was visibly shaken. He said I'd passed, quickly filled in the paperwork and left. On the downside, my car still smells of his shart. FML

#21339037
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31292) - you deserved it (3398)

On 01/17/2015 at 5:24pm - misc - by for shite's sake (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter and my very pregnant cat. I left the room briefly, only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave birth in front of her. FML

#21303819
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32471) - you deserved it (3761)

On 11/22/2014 at 10:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48308) - you deserved it (3995)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I complained to my two roommates about housework not being done. They both put their hands over their ears and started screaming at the top of their voice. They do this pretty much whenever I say anything to them. FML

#21238842
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40520) - you deserved it (5204)

On 08/16/2014 at 8:10am - misc - by Jenn (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my professor told everyone that he thinks all med students should be required to get a catheter and an enema at least once in their lives so they can relate to their patients, saying, "Gentlemen, it might change your lives." FML

#21236595
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36519) - you deserved it (6620)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after months of dinners, coffees, drinks, and a few nights together, the girl of my dreams told me about this awesome guy she met yesterday. FML

#21235196
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44980) - you deserved it (4509)

On 08/11/2014 at 8:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: