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Today, I was at the library, working with some classmates on our major semester project. I accidentally killed power to the row of computers by me. I've never had so many enraged faces looking at me before. FML
Today... I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming... peieng all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. mega FML
Today mah 175-pound rottwieler I've raisd since a puppy watchd me get jumpd and robbd of mah phone and money in mah yard!! An hour later he hoppd the fence and chasd the mail man down the street after he leand on the fence 4 a second!! fat FML
yesterday I was proud when I startd a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML
yesterday everything that was beautiful an pure in mah life turnd into a terrible, warpd version of wat it once was. Today, I lost all hope, an no longer believe that life, although sometime shitty, is sweet an worth living. Today, I met mah mother-in-law. looool FML
2day my usband an I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing te matter again!! Later on, e made us lasagna!! Te moment I swallowed te first moutful, e smirked, ten started snickering uncontrollably!! Wat te fuck did e do to my food? FML
Today... my grlfriend got mad at me because I slept on the couch last night. She also seems to have forgotten that we had an argument last night... afterhich she stormed into our bedroom an locked me out. FML
Yesterday, I lerened that an antidepressant that works too well is a stimulant. I've been jittering an twitching like a meth-head, an mah co-workers r asking when Jesse will be showing up with mah "stuff". fat FML
Friday 27 March 2015