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Orchard

Offline (the 05/26/2015 at 2:44am) | Search for a member

Orchard

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 August 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 17736
  • Number of comments : 194
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Orchard : “There is nothing so secular that it cannot be sacred, and that is one of the deepest messages of the Incarnation.”
~ Madeleine L'Engle

Orchard's page activity

Visits<b>billboob</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 12:04am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 6:35am<b>TEZZ</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 4:53am<b>countrygirl71</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 2:42pm<b>the_rad_brad47</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 6:24pm<b>Captain_Debilos</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 7:44am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 3:25pm<b>Vaginabutter</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 6:20pm<b>kareniskaos</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 12:05am<b>Willibobs</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 7:31am<b>emotionalhentai</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 2:38pm<b>helloyes</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 12:05pm<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 12:38am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 11:34pm<b>asmb100</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 12:10am<b>Evilseed</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 3:50am<b>Furby94</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 4:02pm<b>Raptor73242</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 4:56pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 1:42pm

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Orchard's favorite FMLs

Today, I dislocated my toe while putting on my socks. FML

#21384619
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28782) - you deserved it (4715)

On 03/31/2015 at 6:54am - health - by billy - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML

#21384025
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36728) - you deserved it (2937)

On 03/30/2015 at 6:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out the fund-raiser my uncle ran to raise money for his cancer treatment was all a sham, that he doesn't even have cancer, and that the money was to fund a coke habit nobody knew he even had. FML

#21383487
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31296) - you deserved it (2119)

On 03/29/2015 at 9:33am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Philippines (Benguet)

Today, I was sitting in my bedroom relaxing when I heard my little sister and my brother. Thinking it was cute they were talking again, I was listening. They were not just "talking", they were making plans on how to kill me. FML

#21383476
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31023) - you deserved it (2705)

On 03/29/2015 at 8:54am - kids - by M.SHUKRI - United States (Illinois)

Today, my older brother puked in the sound hole of my sister's guitar. He blamed it on me, and in revenge my sister beat me with the guitar. FML

#21383103
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27182) - you deserved it (1826)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:30pm - misc - by Pukey - United States

Today, I found out that the creepy weirdo who's been sending me messages for a while is just my dad. His excuse was, "I wanted you to feel like someone would actually like you." FML

#21383075
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27105) - you deserved it (1961)

On 03/28/2015 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I discovered that when my mom can't sleep, she comes into my room and reads my text messages. FML

Today, I was trying out for a position as pitcher for my college baseball team. I threw the ball as hard as I could, and then collapsed to the ground in agony from a dislocated shoulder. FML

#21382575
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27212) - you deserved it (4610)

On 03/27/2015 at 6:50pm - health - by Bonecrusher (man) - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep in class... And woke up hour later. My teacher let me sit there till I woke up to see what my face would be like waking up to a new class. FML

#21382364
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25803) - you deserved it (16323)

On 03/27/2015 at 11:27am - misc - by BERNDTOAST - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

#21382327
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28498) - you deserved it (3033)

On 03/27/2015 at 9:29am - kids - by njh - Ireland

Today, I managed to take an entire shower without realizing my socks were on. I washed my feet. FML

#21382179
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22402) - you deserved it (8747)

On 03/26/2015 at 11:28pm - misc - by comfort_ - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was playing charades with my boyfriend and family. The answer was "Beckoning" so I acted it out with a "come here" gesture. He looked confused for a second, then blurted out "Fingering?" FML

#21378887
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28640) - you deserved it (3410)

On 03/21/2015 at 11:12am - misc - by ajodasdojsad (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, after telling my parents that I want to be a vegetarian, I got grounded. Apparently, "black people can't be vegetarians" and, I'm "crazy for even suggesting something like that." FML

#21378047
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32273) - you deserved it (4615)

On 03/19/2015 at 10:23pm - misc - by shawnsmuffins - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom and I made the bad decision to go hiking for some mother-daughter bonding even though we had little experience. My mother tumbled down a mountain named Tumbledown and I couldn't even enjoy the irony because I had to half carry her all the way back to the car. FML

#21375957
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27602) - you deserved it (3298)

On 03/16/2015 at 8:56pm - health - by manderpander21 - United States (New York)

Today, in my online class I accidentally unmuted my mic. Normally that would be fine except today I decided to serenade myself with a silly song. I didn't realize until everyone started clapping at the end of the song. FML

#21373396
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27573) - you deserved it (6300)

On 03/12/2015 at 8:39pm - misc - by acapelladisaster - United States (Indiana)



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  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

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