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Orchard

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Orchard

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 August 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 17553
  • Number of comments : 194
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Orchard : “There is nothing so secular that it cannot be sacred, and that is one of the deepest messages of the Incarnation.”
~ Madeleine L'Engle

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Visits<b>billboob</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 12:04am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 6:35am<b>TEZZ</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 4:53am<b>countrygirl71</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 2:42pm<b>the_rad_brad47</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 6:24pm<b>Captain_Debilos</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 7:44am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 3:25pm<b>Vaginabutter</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 6:20pm<b>kareniskaos</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 12:05am<b>Willibobs</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 7:31am<b>emotionalhentai</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 2:38pm<b>helloyes</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 12:05pm<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 12:38am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 11:34pm<b>asmb100</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 12:10am<b>Evilseed</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 3:50am<b>Furby94</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 4:02pm<b>Raptor73242</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 4:56pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 1:42pm

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Orchard's favorite FMLs

Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML

#12792346
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34703) - you deserved it (22946)

On 08/28/2010 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Sicko - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was taking care of a friend's hamster. Thinking the hamster wanted to make a bed, I put some cotton balls in his cage so he would be comfy. He promptly ate them and died. FML

#12781273
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15566) - you deserved it (38698)

On 08/28/2010 at 12:56am - animals - by Kelli (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend from the top of a bungee jumping platform at an amusement park. I yelled out, "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" from the platform, pointing her out. Turns out, I was pointing at the wrong girl. My girlfriend was very angry and ran away when the wrong girl yelled, "Yes!" FML

#12757529
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34477) - you deserved it (14486)

On 08/26/2010 at 4:06pm - love - by Ido (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I wanted to punish a student for being late. I decided to start a pop quiz before he arrived. I was positive there wasn't enough time for him to finish. He scored full marks and I couldn't say a word. FML

#12693453
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8241) - you deserved it (68451)

On 08/23/2010 at 12:18am - kids - by K_M (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43418) - you deserved it (12949)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48378) - you deserved it (15093)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was on the toilet, when my Mom thought it would be a fun idea to barge in, take a picture of me, post it on Facebook, and tag me. FML

#12650265
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35382) - you deserved it (4026)

On 08/20/2010 at 7:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got back from a two week holiday only to discover my dog missing. After looking for him at animal shelters and putting up missing pet signs, my room mate admitted he lost him in a game of drunk poker. FML

#12649118
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38612) - you deserved it (3048)

On 08/20/2010 at 6:03pm - animals - by therealducktape - Sent from mobile version

Today, my wife put divorce papers in my birthday card. FML

#12621372
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58573) - you deserved it (4181)

On 08/19/2010 at 6:01am - misc - by divorced - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He also decided the best way to end our relationship was to kill me and our virtual child on The Sims 3 by setting us on fire. FML

#12617958
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38849) - you deserved it (6504)

On 08/19/2010 at 1:26am - love - by Single - United States (California)

Today, while casually sitting at a bar, a drunk biker with no teeth leaned over and tried to kiss me. I'm a sailor in the Navy, but I think I screamed like a little girl. FML

#12617808
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31347) - you deserved it (4868)

On 08/19/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by dentallycorrect - United States (Illinois)

Today, I discovered a bat in my new apartment. I found him in my shoe... with my foot. FML

#12583063
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32447) - you deserved it (3240)

On 08/17/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by Bruce (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was on my third date with this really cute girl. After a very romantic evening, I decided to go for the first kiss, but because of my nervous reflex in which I get bloody noses, I ended up bleeding all over her face. FML

#12577034
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38491) - you deserved it (4548)

On 08/17/2010 at 3:10am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I found out that if my son and daughter in law are mad at me, they do it on my furniture. So far, they've done it on the table, my bed, and all the living room couches. FML

#12566492
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27245) - you deserved it (12420)

On 08/16/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom called me to the laundry room after she saw a dead animal in there. I took a look and agreed we should call animal control. After ten minutes of freaking out, they finally arrived to confirm that the dead animal was the hood to my winter jacket. FML

#12531799
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7403) - you deserved it (37012)

On 08/15/2010 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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