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Orchard

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Orchard

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 August 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 15772
  • Number of comments : 194
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Orchard : “There is nothing so secular that it cannot be sacred, and that is one of the deepest messages of the Incarnation.”
~ Madeleine L'Engle

Orchard's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - 4 hours ago<b>the_rad_brad47</b> - 17 hours ago<b>Captain_Debilos</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 7:44am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 3:25pm<b>Vaginabutter</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 6:20pm<b>kareniskaos</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 12:05am<b>Willibobs</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 7:31am<b>billboob</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 12:42pm<b>emotionalhentai</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 2:38pm<b>helloyes</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 12:05pm<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 12:38am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 11:34pm<b>asmb100</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 12:10am<b>Evilseed</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 3:50am<b>Furby94</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 4:02pm<b>Raptor73242</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 4:56pm<b>sophielock</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 2:09am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 11:41pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - just now

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Orchard's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to listen to this voicemail. I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty followed by the bed springs bouncing for 3 minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML

#12337328
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24325) - you deserved it (38681)

On 08/05/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by JDLAX1924 - United States

Today, I discovered how my ex-girlfriend exacted her revenge. Every item of clothing I own now has sequins. FML

#12331416
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24221) - you deserved it (11028)

On 08/05/2010 at 1:00pm - love - by Luke - United Kingdom (West Berkshire)

Today, I discovered that my mom is having an affair... with her cousin. FML

#12322753
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55831) - you deserved it (4021)

On 08/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Drew - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML

#12316575
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30557) - you deserved it (34571)

On 08/04/2010 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by kinky - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got sunburnt. FML

#12305755
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41738) - you deserved it (7352)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:24am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I moved into my new college apartment for the next year. A 45 year old guy with a mustache in short shorts and no shirt answers the door. He will be one of my roommates. FML

#12296527
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31200) - you deserved it (3556)

On 08/03/2010 at 9:44pm - misc - by jkin47 (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my family and I watched Madagascar 2. When we got to the part where Gloria the hippopotamus is praised for her chunkyness, my little sister looked at me and said, "If you were a hippo, maybe then you would get a date." FML

#12293464
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31762) - you deserved it (6818)

On 08/03/2010 at 6:37pm - misc - by fatty - United States (New York)

Today, the cute guy I met on Halloween finally decided to meet up with me after almost 10 months of phone calls, IM, and emails. He was noticeably disappointed and said I looked different. On Halloween I had full face zombie makeup. FML

#12271969
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29082) - you deserved it (4344)

On 08/02/2010 at 7:43pm - love - by Doubleyew1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered our AOL billing information. Turns out we've been paying for dial-up via automatic bill paying that we thought we cancelled in 2000. $1,800 later, we called to cancel. Customer service congratulated us on being loyal members for over 13 years. FML

#12266156
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17546) - you deserved it (26761)

On 08/02/2010 at 1:23pm - money - by Jay (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I applied for a job and sent my CV, then realised I sent the example CV I got off the internet. Now they think Bob Brown who lives at 123 Sunshine Street is applying for a job. FML

#12261661
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9160) - you deserved it (34658)

On 08/02/2010 at 5:50am - work - by Julia (woman) - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, while I was at work, I heard one of my employees laughing on the phone. I told him to shut up and get back to work. Turns out he was actually crying because his father had just died. FML

#12251529
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9729) - you deserved it (58036)

On 08/01/2010 at 8:34pm - work - by bloodymatzaball - United States

Today, I was coaching at a swim meet. I heard a few of my swimmers screaming about a huge wasp on my head, so I told everyone to stay calm because we didn't want to upset the wasp. Unfortunately, I was interrupted by another coach from our team hitting me repeatedly on the head with a clipboard. FML

#12251275
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28020) - you deserved it (2659)

On 08/01/2010 at 8:20pm - health - by Doodle (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a red light when the guy next to me gave me that look people give when they want a street race. I won, but I should've seen the word "Sheriff" written on the side of his car. FML

#12247405
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8773) - you deserved it (76907)

On 08/01/2010 at 3:41pm - misc - by Our Talisman - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML

#12241266
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33231) - you deserved it (11379)

On 08/01/2010 at 4:45am - kids - by kfoehslfns - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got married. During the reception my husband got drunk and told 200+ people that we met at a dingy bar and that we "totally banged" all night. I don't know what's worse, the fact he embarrassed me in front of everyone I know, or if it was that that was not how we met. Not even close. FML

#12231460
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38590) - you deserved it (3615)

On 07/31/2010 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by wtf (woman) - United States (Idaho)



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