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Orchard

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Orchard

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 August 1985 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 24086
  • Number of comments : 195
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Orchard : “There is nothing so secular that it cannot be sacred, and that is one of the deepest messages of the Incarnation.”
~ Madeleine L'Engle

Orchard's page activity

Visits<b>my_dog_is_better</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 7:10am<b>plebs_everywhere</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 12:15am<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 11:51pm<b>laurellkawes</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 9:51pm<b>MethuselahTurtle</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 6:54am<b>airassault</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 6:27pm<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 12:39am<b>hobbs96</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 4:37am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 8:22am<b>big_sam1991</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 5:05pm<b>holymacabre</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 10:58pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 11:41am<b>talas122104</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 3:17am<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 8:50am<b>player20270</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 9:40am<b>Steve97</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 5:32pm<b>RichieRichhh</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 5:28pm<b>DR_TYRANOSAURUS</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 8:52am

Fucked!<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 5:51am<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 6:39am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 1:34am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 1:42pm

Orchard's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Orchard's badges

Orchard's favorite FMLs

Today, a short guy asked me how the world looked "up there", as I'm really tall. I decided to lift him up so he could see for himself. I failed both times I tried, to the great amusement of everyone watching. FML

#21525498
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13525) - you deserved it (4745)

On 02/12/2016 at 1:22pm - misc - by SK8WITME (man) - India

Today, I was playing Badminton in P.E, and I was paired with a particularly pretty girl, who for some reason kept asking stupid questions that we both knew the answers to. I've only now just realized that she was trying to initiate conversation with me. This is why I have no friends. FML

#21525372
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16910) - you deserved it (4967)

On 02/12/2016 at 2:50am - love - by oblivious idiot -

Today, I greeted my boss with, "Looking good, did you lose weight?" He responded that no, he'd just purchased larger pants. FML

#21525094
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16691) - you deserved it (3261)

On 02/11/2016 at 7:24am - work - by candy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I visited my son at his university accommodations and noticed he's clearly never cleaned it since he moved in two years ago. I tried cleaning it myself, but gave up entirely when I found what looked like mushrooms growing out of an old takeout container. FML

#21524464
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17873) - you deserved it (2045)

On 02/09/2016 at 4:35pm - kids - by Pauline (woman) - United States

Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML

#21523193
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20109) - you deserved it (1948)

On 02/05/2016 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while I was taking a shit, a guy went into the next stall and narrated what he was doing in song. I'm still traumatized by his lyrics. FML

#21522585
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19767) - you deserved it (1521)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:13pm - misc - by Lord_Nick (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after a badly misjudged hand signal, I accidentally hit my boss in the face instead of high-fiving her. FML

#21522381
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18465) - you deserved it (2829)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:06am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML

#21520327
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23233) - you deserved it (1561)

On 01/28/2016 at 3:39am - animals - by sweetie808 - United States (Hawaii)

Today, after weeks of watching Michael Jackson videos non-stop, my boyfriend learned how to moonwalk. Now he does it literally everywhere. I can't even cross the street without him moonwalking behind me. FML

#21520184
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18862) - you deserved it (2718)

On 01/27/2016 at 7:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up with a pounding headache. My wife tells me that last night I woke up from a nightmare, screaming, tried to run away and knocked myself out running headfirst into the bedroom wall. So she put me back to bed and went back to sleep. FML

#21519974
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20756) - you deserved it (2073)

On 01/27/2016 at 7:02am - health - by oliver (man) - United States

Today, my 17 year old told me he wanted to pursue a career in art. Knowing he's extremely talented at drawing, I congratulated him and told him to pursue that dream. A few hours later I learn that he's been arrested for spray painting graffiti dicks all over a school wall. Well, he's famous now. FML

#21517961
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21545) - you deserved it (2025)

On 01/21/2016 at 9:21pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my eldest daughter announced she was getting divorced. She never even told me she was married. FML

#21518068
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21297) - you deserved it (2071) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/21/2016 at 7:11pm - love - by Kimel - France (Franche-Comte)

Today, while I was taking a shower, my boyfriend came into the bathroom to ask me a question. When I got out of the shower, I was greeted with a horrifying cutout of Michael Jackson. I fell backwards, shattering the glass shower door. I needed stitches. FML

Today, I found out if a tree falls in the forest and there's nobody around, it does in fact make a sound, and also $5,000 worth of damage to your truck. FML

#21517211
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20139) - you deserved it (1333)

On 01/20/2016 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)



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