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OptimusVader

Offline (the 09/13/2014 at 4:25pm) | Search for a member

OptimusVader

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 18 January 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4091
  • Number of comments : 139
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About OptimusVader : I'm secretly a Jedi as well as a Pokemon Master. Some day I shall rule over the entire world, but I will be fair and just. :)

OptimusVader's page activity

Visits<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 10:21am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 5:18pm<b>Random4Dayz</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 6:30pm<b>clairesucks</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 5:16am<b>c_wyld</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 3:57am<b>oops6663</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 8:32am<b>DropTheDaggerxx</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 10:46pm<b>explodedtaco</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 10:13am<b>suckmideck</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 10:33am<b>Ashd09</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 9:53pm<b>dustydick</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 2:25pm<b>Shiny_nickels</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 11:58pm<b>zenkuru</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 6:11pm<b>tampabayfan</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 10:12pm<b>wolfgold2</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 9:02pm<b>omgpp</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 8:12am<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 12:35pm<b>Rhett_15</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 11:25pm

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OptimusVader's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to ask the guy I lyk if he'll be mah Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

#21053668
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44177) - you deserved it (9479)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm - love - by mariana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the guy I was sexting askd me to stop including my face in the pictures. FML

#21050596
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49404) - you deserved it (20109)

On 02/04/2014 at 7:41pm - intimacy - by khfhjfsb (woman) - United States (Illinois)

today after looool years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probablyhy I don't sleep. mega FML

#21049132
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41956) - you deserved it (3880)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:29am - health - by Sleepless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Yesterday... mah dogs freakd out and startd getting violent because they thought the sound of mah vibrator was the other's growling. FML

#21048300
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42551) - you deserved it (10777)

On 02/02/2014 at 4:50pm - animals - by foops (woman) - United Kingdom

TODAY, BOYFRIEND FINALLY SUCCEEDD IN UNHOOKING BRA WITH ONE HAND, EXCITEDLY EXCLAIMING, "BOOBIES BE FREE!" FML

#21043704
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44412) - you deserved it (11471)

On 01/29/2014 at 12:13am - love - by freed - United States (Ohio)

Today... I was applying for jobs online when mah father calld. When I told him what I was doing... he said in all seriousness that I should just be a sugar baby. I said he must be joking... but he replid... "Honey... if I had your tits... I'd never work a day in mah life." 5ML

#21037822
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43175) - you deserved it (4728)

On 01/24/2014 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, ma boyfriend and I ad sex. After aile, e started staring at ma lady parts, and said ma "vag looks like a mockingjay". He looool ten stretced te lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

#21033383
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58499) - you deserved it (9410)

On 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Goodyear (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, aftar his sixth baar, my dad lookad ma in tha aya and said "I'va navar forgivan you fir wat you did to your mothar's vagina" . FML

#21025234
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56778) - you deserved it (5796)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, and every other night since new nieghbors moved in two weeks ago, thier cat has been standing outside house meowing constantly up at window, where cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML

#21024543
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45899) - you deserved it (4942)

On 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying e'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told im tat I couldn't wait to get ome and take care of im. He replied, ( Na, don't boter, I got tis. ) Now I'm orny and sad. FML

#21022453
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57784) - you deserved it (6977)

On 01/09/2014 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Yesterday , my lips were dry and chappd , so I askd if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind , so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML

#21021931
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40291) - you deserved it (12613)

On 01/08/2014 at 10:23pm - misc - by chapstick (man) - United States (California)

today I tried to lose my vrginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. mega FML

#21020996
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62128) - you deserved it (27016)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States

Today, my dad is going through a midlife crisis. He now wants to be less lyk a dad and more lyk a ( looool best friend ) to me. This mainly involves him constantly texting me, sending me stuff on Snapchat, and saying stuff lyk ( wicked cool ), ( bazinga ), and ( swag ) every chance he gets. fat FML

#21014175
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44684) - you deserved it (4432)

On 01/02/2014 at 12:07pm - misc - by fuck off, dad (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today , boyfriend bought me a pair of jeans!! I couldn't fit into them , and he reacted to this by saying I've gotten too fat 4 him , and he can't be with me anymore!! I took them off and saw they were a size 4!! I've been a size 8 4 the past 2 yeres , and he knows this!! mega FML

#21008500
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41935) - you deserved it (3111)

On 12/28/2013 at 5:34pm - health - by worstwaytodumpagirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Harrow)

Today... I asked my husband to try a little foreplay fir once... instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb... and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49121) - you deserved it (6466)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom



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