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OnlyAvailableID

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OnlyAvailableID
  • Town/Country : Melbourne, Australia
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2595
  • Number of comments : 129
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About OnlyAvailableID : Sleeping in is giving in, no matter what the time is.
Sleeping in is giving in, so lift those heavy eyelids.
People say that you'll die, faster than without water.
But we know it's just a lie, scare your sons and scare your daughters.

Relax, I need some information first. Just the basic facts; can you show me where it hurts?

Dear shadow, live and well. When does the body die, you tell me everything, anything, truuuuuuuuue.

A man of words and not of deeds, is like a garden full of weeds.

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OnlyAvailableID's FML badges

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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OnlyAvailableID's favorite FMLs

Today, like every other day, my daughter thinks that degrading skinny people is very "non-conformist" and "edgy". This time, though, a slightly slim girl punched her in the face when she accused her of being anorexic. Now people think I gave my daughter her new black eye. FML

#20942627
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36290) - you deserved it (5511)

On 11/02/2013 at 2:46pm - kids - by curvster daughter (man) - United States

Today, my 8-year-old came home from school crying. Apparently her teacher told the whole class to write about how they felt when they learned that Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy weren't real. FML

#20942077
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49579) - you deserved it (4413)

On 11/02/2013 at 12:19am - kids - by SantaClaus - United States (California)

Today, I had to go to a big dinner with my insane relatives. Highlights of conversation included my sister telling us about the "country of Iowa", my dad accusing me of faking my chronic fatigue syndrome, and my grandpa claiming that Nelson Mandela is the Antichrist. FML

#20941414
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31926) - you deserved it (2375)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:38pm - misc - by FUCK ME, MAKE IT STOP (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML

#20941322
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39460) - you deserved it (3656)

On 11/01/2013 at 12:49pm - work - by #isthisthepoundkey? - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML

#20940283
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38604) - you deserved it (7824)

On 10/31/2013 at 2:27pm - kids - by anna (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I overcame my stage fright and got up in front of a café audience with my acoustic guitar to sing a few of my songs. Some asshat kept yelling stuff like "NEEDS MORE COWBELL!" and "FREEBIRD!", which made me lose my nerve and flee. FML

#20937310
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35515) - you deserved it (3599)

On 10/28/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by NickDrakeFan (man) - United States

Today, I got into a fight with my mother. Her idea of a birthday present to me is buying me a husband. Yes, buying. She told an asshat she found online about my trust fund, and now they're both trying to put together "the wedding of the millennium". She still doesn't understand why I'm mad. FML

Today, I decided to try LSD with a few friends in a safe environment. As an artist, I had planned to spend my trip doing psychedelic paintings and had all my supplies set up. Apparently I spent most of my time in fetal position muttering about the "evil easel" and never even touched my canvas. FML

#20930479
333 comments

Today, I tried Ambien for the first time. I now have to apologize to most of my exes for excessively rambling emails about getting together for some naked Twister. FML

#20929399
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28760) - you deserved it (9645)

On 10/21/2013 at 8:12pm - health - by OutOfMyMind (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left for work, he came back home, with another woman. FML

#20925128
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63454) - you deserved it (2634)

On 10/18/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I was pushed off of a glacier by a very angry tourist. Why? I work as a glacier guide, and apparently some people find it overly frustrating to be informed that there isn't a café on the glacier. FML

#20924969
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43091) - you deserved it (2330)

On 10/18/2013 at 8:40am - work - by Quasimodo (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I came across some bubble wrap. Turned out it was a special type of bubble wrap that cannot be popped. FML

#20924315
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45998) - you deserved it (4163)

On 10/17/2013 at 6:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for knowing more about Batman than he does. He's only seen some of the movies, and as a kid my dad owned a comic book store. He still doesn't see why I should know more, because I'm a girl, and "girls aren't supposed to know about super heroes." FML

#20921778
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47155) - you deserved it (3398)

On 10/15/2013 at 5:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my brother is adamant that if he records silence, then listens to said silence at full volume, it'll improve the headphones' noise-blocking abilities. I live with a complete idiot. FML

#20921378
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36594) - you deserved it (2824)

On 10/15/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Eggs6131 (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

#20919796
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40165) - you deserved it (2907)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)



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