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Offline (the 06/04/2015 at 10:50pm)

OnlyAvailableID

9Fucked!

OnlyAvailableIDOnlyAvailableID
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10540
  • Number of comments : 143
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 4 posted

About OnlyAvailableID : Eudaemonia.

OnlyAvailableID's page activity

Visits<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 10:40pm<b>smolbean</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 1:43am<b>jamaarlove</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 1:22am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 2:43pm<b>booboo2162</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 10:23pm<b>Litarius</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 4:27am<b>IdntNOthePASS</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 10:53pm<b>pizzzzza</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 10:37pm<b>sam882</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 6:41pm<b>possiblyapotato</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 2:48pm<b>Ashd09</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 10:35pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 4:33pm<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 3:36pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 2:14pm<b>soccercrewluv10</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 11:42am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 1:14am<b>SampleSext</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 11:25pm<b>bananassin</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 4:30pm

Fucked!<b>pizzzzza</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 4:37am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:33pm<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 9:36pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 8:14pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 5:12am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 11:55pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 9:31am<b>Callyn</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 4:09am<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 1:59pm

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OnlyAvailableID's favorite FMLs

Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML

by makeyourselfathome / 09/17/2014 at 8:18am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML

by he's not the one going to hell / 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm / Australia / Geek

Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2014 at 4:47pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, someone in my class referred to the September 11th attacks as "Nine-Elevs". FML

by no / 09/10/2014 at 9:47pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML

by Perdito_Coño / 09/05/2014 at 4:55pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

by anonymous / 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

by ihatejasonderulo / 09/02/2014 at 11:32am / United Kingdom (Hounslow) / Intimacy

Today, at my dining job, my boss told me the food was "technically illegal to serve," air quotes and all. FML

by dining / 08/31/2014 at 9:56pm / United States (Iowa) / Work

Today, after finally getting rid of an extremely rude, abusive customer, I muttered that I could kill people like her. I didn't know my manager had heard me, until a pair of police officers arrived. He'd reported me for "threatening to murder a customer". FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2014 at 12:17pm / United Kingdom (Slough) / Work

Today, it's been three weeks since my dad finished growing what he calls a "Jesus beard" and gone out asking for donations and claiming to be Jesus Christ. I've been trying and failing to get a job for 2 years, and he's already raking in cash from gullible idiots. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2014 at 12:16pm / United States (Texas) / Money

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

by wowzer / 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm / Puerto Rico / Love

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

by KristaAaronn / 08/27/2014 at 8:24am / United States (Tennessee) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boss asked me if I could work this weekend, doing the work of 2 people, for almost no extra pay. I had a weekend out with my kids planned, so I said I couldn't. My boss called it a shitty excuse, yet gave a free pass to a guy who claimed he had a "phobia of working on weekends". FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2014 at 2:11pm / Latvia (Riga) / Work

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

by whotouchedyou1 / 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I had to flush someone else's shit in the public washroom at work. It was so vile, I didn't want to get anywhere near it, so flushed it with my foot, only for it to slip off the handle and into the toilet. FML

by Alisterine / 08/24/2014 at 1:31pm / United States (Missouri) / Work