Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

OnlyAvailableID

Online | Search for a member

OnlyAvailableID

3Liked!

OnlyAvailableIDOnlyAvailableID
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6255
  • Number of comments : 142
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 4 posted

About OnlyAvailableID : Eudaemonia.

OnlyAvailableID's page activity

Visits<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 3:31am<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 12:27pm<b>davidpropert</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 8:18am<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 8:59pm<b>dapoog124</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 9:21am<b>Apretendbiscuit</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 3:14am<b>sisco2901</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 2:31am<b>Randen_FML95</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 1:14am<b>zachburdick99</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 11:37pm<b>WeLikeIke</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 11:28pm<b>ryan4723</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 10:41pm<b>psychopolarbear</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 8:19pm<b>Bloodknight</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 8:14pm<b>doctorhook86</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 8:53am<b>sapassoupa</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 4:24am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 4:52pm<b>DJ_Pelco</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 3:12pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 2:02pm

Liked!<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 9:31am<b>Callyn</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 4:09am<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 1:59pm

OnlyAvailableID's FML badges

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of OnlyAvailableID's badges

OnlyAvailableID's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned I'm not allergic to gluten. My mom has kept me on a gluten free diet since I was 5. She was convinced I was allergic to it. I'm 25 and I am writing this over my first slice of pizza in 20 years. FML

#20057669
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32308) - you deserved it (1805)

On 09/04/2012 at 5:38pm - health - by Emma - United States (Missouri)

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML

#20042325
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23973) - you deserved it (2081)

On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dog was run over. The man who ran over my dog was taking his own dog to the emergency vet. As the man awkwardly tried to apologise to me, he said, "Think of the irony". FML

#20026086
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24455) - you deserved it (1602)

On 08/17/2012 at 7:26am - animals - by byegeorge (woman) - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, after sex, my boyfriend and I lay in bed for a couple of hours just chatting. This would have been lovely. However, his topic of choice for post-coital pillow talk was his theory about how Chewbacca is secretly the leader of the Rebel Alliance. It actually made sense. FML

#20020311
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24426) - you deserved it (6899)

On 08/14/2012 at 8:17am - intimacy - by cl4ptp (woman) - United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The)

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

#19983789
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27110) - you deserved it (2102)

On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boss fired me for "fooling around" on my phone. I was looking for supplies for a surprise party we are throwing him for his birthday, and I didn't want to do it on my work computer because he has access to our history. Also, this happened during my lunch break. FML

#19961879
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28550) - you deserved it (1530)

On 07/20/2012 at 12:58am - work - by are you kidding me???? - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I'm accused of vandalizing a cop car during a night of partying, and in so doing, violating my parole. While talking with my lawyer, who I spent all my savings on, I said he could hire better than his hideous secretary. Turns out she's his wife. I think I'm now more screwed than ever. FML

#19915477
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5493) - you deserved it (53275)

On 07/09/2012 at 5:06pm - misc - by jillie minaj (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML

#19881608
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31754) - you deserved it (4925)

On 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by nobrony (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

#19817936
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23274) - you deserved it (6010)

On 06/20/2012 at 10:09am - animals - by anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, while at the beach, as a joke, I told my girlfriend that I was a shark. She then poked my eyes and punched me in the nose. When I started to get mad, she just shrugged and asked, "What? You're the one that wanted to be a shark. Don't you watch Shark Week?" FML

#19767813
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10658) - you deserved it (28012)

On 06/10/2012 at 10:33pm - misc - by sharkboy (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML

#19716339
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32035) - you deserved it (2705)

On 06/01/2012 at 4:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML

#19707961
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31614) - you deserved it (4266)

On 05/31/2012 at 1:28am - misc - by gonavybeatarmy - United States (California)

Today, my son was fired from his new job, which was going to support us since I recently lost mine. His excuse was, "Conflict of interest." He was a mascot for a fast-food restaurant and refused to dance around. FML

#19694666
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18220) - you deserved it (11850)

On 05/28/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by Shianna (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
478 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49354) - you deserved it (4587)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)



Caroline Maerten's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #1: Valentine's Day
  • It's a brand new Valentine's day, so here's a brand new blog section. Yep, you read that right, we're using the fact that Valentine's day is vaguely a controversial…

Friday 13 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: