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Offline (the 06/04/2015 at 10:50pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12001
  • Number of comments : 143
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 4 posted

About OnlyAvailableID : Eudaemonia.

OnlyAvailableID's page activity

Visits<b>frogger0709</b> - the 10/06/2016 at 7:49pm<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 10:40pm<b>smolbean</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 1:43am<b>jamaarlove</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 1:22am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 2:43pm<b>booboo2162</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 10:23pm<b>Litarius</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 4:27am<b>IdntNOthePASS</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 10:53pm<b>pizzzzza</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 10:37pm<b>sam882</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 6:41pm<b>possiblyapotato</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 2:48pm<b>Ashd09</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 10:35pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 4:33pm<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 3:36pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 2:14pm<b>soccercrewluv10</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 11:42am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 1:14am<b>SampleSext</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 11:25pm

Fucked!<b>pizzzzza</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 4:37am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:33pm<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 9:36pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 8:14pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 5:12am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 11:55pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 9:31am<b>Callyn</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 4:09am<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 1:59pm

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OnlyAvailableID's favorite FMLs

Today, while on vacation, my parents called to inform me that my best friend had died in a car accident. Why? To trick me into tearfully confessing my love for him. It worked. FML

by whywouldyoudothat / 10/06/2014 at 9:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I told my boyfriend about how I was a test tube baby. He looked at me with confusion before asking, "But if scientists made you, surely you'd be really attractive and talented and stuff?" FML

by thanks babe / 10/06/2014 at 7:47pm / United Kingdom (Shropshire) / Love

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage. I guess I hit the spot, because he muttered, "Please marry me" into the pillow. Considering we've been going out for years and had spoken about marriage before, I stopped in my tracks. He stammered, "Oh, I mean... Not like that. Will you keep going?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2014 at 7:41pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

by SaintGoobers / 10/06/2014 at 4:24pm / United States (New York) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML

by mykodu / 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I found out my son was selling pot for pesos. We live in New Jersey and have never planned on going to Mexico. FML

by Potforapeso / 09/30/2014 at 10:30pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, same as every other night, I sat in my car outside my home, just to avoid going inside. I live alone. FML

by piper182 / 09/29/2014 at 6:04pm / United States (New York) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, on my first day of sailing practice, I managed to sit on a metal cleat. After being admitted to the ER, I was informed that I had two vaginal lacerations that needed surgery. The nurse tried to convince me it was my lucky day, because the hospital café was serving vanilla pudding. FML

by Anonymous / 09/29/2014 at 3:39pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health

Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad "What's up?" He casually replied: "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2014 at 4:00pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I went to use the porta potty at the construction site I work at and found two homeless people having sex in it. I almost got fired, because my advisor blamed me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/24/2014 at 9:58am / United States / Work

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

by RuinedTheMood / 09/21/2014 at 1:11am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML

by hypercrite dad / 09/19/2014 at 2:34pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML

by clairebear104 / 09/18/2014 at 11:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, in astronomy class, a kid used Uranus in a hilarious innuendo. I was the only one who laughed. I also happen to be the teacher. FML

by immature / 09/18/2014 at 3:20pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Work

Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML

by Anonymous / 09/18/2014 at 3:32am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love