Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

OnlyAvailableID

Offline (the 06/04/2015 at 10:50pm) | Search for a member

OnlyAvailableID

9Fucked!

OnlyAvailableIDOnlyAvailableID
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8851
  • Number of comments : 143
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 4 posted

About OnlyAvailableID : Eudaemonia.

OnlyAvailableID's page activity

Visits<b>pizzzzza</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 10:37pm<b>sam882</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 6:41pm<b>possiblyapotato</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 2:48pm<b>Ashd09</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 10:35pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 4:33pm<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 3:36pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 2:14pm<b>soccercrewluv10</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 11:42am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 1:14am<b>SampleSext</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 11:25pm<b>bananassin</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 4:30pm<b>Stripes12345</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 10:29am<b>TheCutestLizard</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 9:15am<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 8:46am<b>emxy92</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 8:07am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 5:54pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 3:31am<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 12:27pm

Fucked!<b>pizzzzza</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 4:37am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:33pm<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 9:36pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 8:14pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 5:12am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 11:55pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 9:31am<b>Callyn</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 4:09am<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 1:59pm

OnlyAvailableID's FML badges

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of OnlyAvailableID's badges

OnlyAvailableID's favorite FMLs

Today, it's my wedding day. Almost a year ago I was in a terrible car accident that nearly left me paralyzed, but I worked my ass off to be able to walk down the aisle. After a lot of blood, sweat, and tears I made it to the big day... and woke up with food poisoning. FML

#20883990
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63548) - you deserved it (2848)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - health - by somethingblue - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He told me he was a dinosaur. FML

#20883504
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43978) - you deserved it (5578)

On 09/16/2013 at 7:09am - love - by Kit (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I found out my extremely anti-war relatives hate me because they think I served in the Army, after hearing I was "a vet". I'm a veterinarian. FML

#20876113
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46540) - you deserved it (2896)

On 09/10/2013 at 7:30pm - work - by the next james herriot (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, even after loving him unconditionally, my originally 340 pound morbidly obese husband, who within the past two years lost almost 200 pounds, left me because now, he "can do so much better". FML

#20874079
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72690) - you deserved it (4114)

On 09/09/2013 at 3:19am - love - by heartbroken - United States (California)

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

#20872880
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51767) - you deserved it (3361)

On 09/08/2013 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, I took my driver's test. The woman administering it wouldn't even look at me, so trying to be friendly I said the first thing I could think of: "It must be scary getting in the car with someone you don't know!" She failed me for "excessive chatting." FML

#20867699
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41757) - you deserved it (4639)

On 09/04/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by UGGGH that was my 2nd attempt too (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my new creative writing teacher informed the class that we should consult him before writing anything "dark or disturbing." I only took the class because my therapist recommended that I join the class so I could freely express my darker thoughts without her help or a fear of being judged. FML

#20866346
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35365) - you deserved it (2633)

On 09/03/2013 at 5:43pm - misc - by depressed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend got offered a job at Abercrombie. The first thing he asked was "they only hire hot people, right?!" Now he won't stop telling me how lucky I am to be with such a hot guy. FML

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML

#20865755
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41027) - you deserved it (6708)

On 09/03/2013 at 4:17am - health - by NoNotCats =^._.^= (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

#20865687
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51422) - you deserved it (11145)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

#20864782
526 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18815) - you deserved it (134841)

On 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had to finally accept that I have an eating disorder when I caught myself checking for the nutrition facts and calories on my shampoo. FML

#20864106
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40350) - you deserved it (8018)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:47am - health - by Jasmine_smilee - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend tried to get me to wear curly wig, so I could pretend to be Harry Styles in bed. FML

#20863117
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49552) - you deserved it (6306)

On 09/01/2013 at 12:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my parents told me that I had been accepted into my top two colleges, but they didn't show me the letters because they were worried that if they spent money on tuition, they wouldn't be able to keep BOTH of their brand new Mercedes. FML

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59722) - you deserved it (6437)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: