Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

OnlyAvailableID

Offline (the 06/04/2015 at 10:50pm) | Search for a member

OnlyAvailableID

9Fucked!

OnlyAvailableIDOnlyAvailableID
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8878
  • Number of comments : 143
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 4 posted

About OnlyAvailableID : Eudaemonia.

OnlyAvailableID's page activity

Visits<b>pizzzzza</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 10:37pm<b>sam882</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 6:41pm<b>possiblyapotato</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 2:48pm<b>Ashd09</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 10:35pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 4:33pm<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 3:36pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 2:14pm<b>soccercrewluv10</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 11:42am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 1:14am<b>SampleSext</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 11:25pm<b>bananassin</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 4:30pm<b>Stripes12345</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 10:29am<b>TheCutestLizard</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 9:15am<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 8:46am<b>emxy92</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 8:07am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 5:54pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 3:31am<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 12:27pm

Fucked!<b>pizzzzza</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 4:37am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:33pm<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 9:36pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 8:14pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 5:12am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 11:55pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 9:31am<b>Callyn</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 4:09am<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 1:59pm

OnlyAvailableID's FML badges

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of OnlyAvailableID's badges

OnlyAvailableID's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML

#21340885
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34147) - you deserved it (3747)

On 01/20/2015 at 10:08am - misc - by mybfthecrossdresser (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while trying some new kinky things with my boyfriend, he cried out, "Call me Jesus!" Yeah... I think we're done with that. FML

#21340673
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29483) - you deserved it (3528)

On 01/19/2015 at 11:42pm - intimacy - by BDSM4Jesus - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I tried baking my own bread to save food money. Unfortunately I screwed it up, prompting my wife to look at me pityingly and say "Wow, can't get even bread to rise." before walking out. I have erectile dysfunction, and she constantly insults me like this. FML

#21333974
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42335) - you deserved it (3468)

On 01/09/2015 at 3:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got a gift-wrapped package in the mail from my racist mother-in-law. She's always hated me, so I thought it was a bit strange. Inside was a squirt gun and a note telling me to take my "black ass" for a walk around a police station with it, followed with a smiley face. FML

#21325871
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40422) - you deserved it (2996)

On 12/28/2014 at 1:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a customer came in with a laptop smashed beyond repair. She asked if we could recover her files, but thanks to my idiot boss' new store policy I had to ask her a bunch of questions, including if she had tried "turning it on and off". She stared at me, speechless, like I was a complete moron. FML

#21321539
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36045) - you deserved it (4113)

On 12/21/2014 at 2:08pm - work - by anonix (man) - Canada

Today, after six long, hard years of involuntary celibacy, I was finally about to get laid. Except it was just a dream, and in it my mom stormed in just as things got heated, called me a useless cunt, and told me to go do my chores. I guess my brain forgot I moved out years ago. FML

#21320480
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33336) - you deserved it (4209)

On 12/19/2014 at 6:14pm - intimacy - by giantblueballsthesizeofjohnnysinscock (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was having sex when a cigarette craving came on. I don't know what's worse, the fact I asked for a cigarette break in the middle of sex or I last that long. FML

#21315600
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23172) - you deserved it (11150)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by cigarettes - United States

Today, my ex sent me a pack of beer to screw with me. I'm still going to AA, and I thought I was almost over it. Five bottles later, I realized I'm not. We didn't break up over my drinking, either; it was because after just 2 weeks of dating, she threatened to kill herself if I didn't marry her. FML

#21292603
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35935) - you deserved it (3687)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:57am - health - by AAnonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I got sick at school. When someone called my mom for permission for me to leave, she told them she doesn't have a daughter and to never call that number again. FML

Today, I volunteered to tutor a 17-year-old girl in science. I had to explain in detail of what the real Big Bang theory was, as she only knew about the show. Later, I heard I was reported by her because apparently, "I was trying to convert her to Scientology." I now know why she needed a tutor. FML

Today, I have to make a decision. I either drive my dad around during the day so he can drink, or I let him drink and drive so I can focus on studying for my exams. FML

#21280767
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35696) - you deserved it (2750)

On 10/18/2014 at 11:03pm - misc - by problems - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my brother and I were talking about Ebola, when he says he would love to have the disease because of how famous it would make him. Plus, his college essays about him "fighting through the disease" would be "phenomenal". FML

#21278125
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36467) - you deserved it (3380)

On 10/15/2014 at 12:55am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out that I am "un-promotable" to the job that I have been promised for the last two years because, I "don't suffer idiots well." Idiots. FML



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: