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OneNightStander

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OneNightStander

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1328
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About OneNightStander : What up!! Here's a little bit about me:
I can fly, but no sorry, you cant see.
I will own the world someday
I play soccer, favorite team is Real Madrid and FC Bayern München
I fluently speak German, English, and French
I'm a keeper.
I'm pretty chill, so message me if you want. I'm on the IPhone version, but allegedly you can message on it. Whew.
Now, leave my profile.

OneNightStander's page activity

Visits<b>silentseries</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 11:04am<b>unimmortal</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 11:40am<b>hellalegit</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 6:03pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 10:45pm<b>Kowkowbb</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 10:06am<b>Tremon123</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 5:38am<b>amandam21</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 12:08pm<b>bananagoat</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 1:40pm<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 11:34pm<b>koolkatsamy</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 10:26pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 9:09pm<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 5:05pm<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 11:19pm<b>EmoKnife</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 1:35pm<b>doitforthevine</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 4:31am<b>CassSomething</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 2:23am<b>invisiblegirl_27</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 1:32pm<b>imabassist</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 10:24pm

OneNightStander's FML badges

50 favourites

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Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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OneNightStander's favorite FMLs

today I took mah laptop to I.T . to fix mah intarnat . Only aftar I laft did I raalisa mah mamory tachniqua for ramambaring tha stagas of mitosis (Iraqi panis man anally transmits chlamydia) was laft as a sticky nota on mah dasktop . Tha guy dafinitaly noticad . FML

#20867249
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34384) - you deserved it (10857)

On 09/04/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by interphaseprophasemetaphase (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today , I read a seemingly seriou article online looool about giving yur smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave 4 one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

#20864782
526 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18773) - you deserved it (134044)

On 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had a group presentation!! I kept zipping mah jacket up and down nervously!! As I waited fir mah turn, I realized a bunch of classmates staring at me!! I forgot that in the morning rush, I only put on a jacket!! I only had a bra on underneath!! fat FML

TODAY, IN THE MIDDLE OF EXAMINING ME, MAH GYNECOLOGIST SUDDENLY TOOK A SHARP INTAKE OF BREATH AND VOMITED ON THE FLOOR. FML

#20826932
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56666) - you deserved it (15965)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:10am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Latvia (Jelgavas)

Today , I cummd home a little earlier than usual , only to walk in on mah dad frantically trying to remove a ballgag from mah mom's mouth. FML

#20822450
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51043) - you deserved it (4851)

On 08/05/2013 at 5:42pm - misc - by NO NO NO (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I woka up to my girlfriand grinning at ma, har hand on my junk. I grinnd back, than lookd down an saw blood smaard all ovar har hand an my junk. Aftar I startd scraaming an crying, sha laughd an said it was faka blood. Sha racordd avarything.

#20820496
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70222) - you deserved it (9278)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, mah fathar shot mah fiancé. Ha's fina, but tha wadding is off. FML

#20812145
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63171) - you deserved it (4341)

On 07/30/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, mah boss frd me 4 bieng ( too morally ambiguous ) . I work looool at a bagel shop an had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese . FML

#20749746
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38543) - you deserved it (3630)

On 06/27/2013 at 2:22am - work - by confusedbagel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with a seemingly really awesome guy. It went quite looool well, until dessert cummd and he startd telling mehy bestiality "isn't really so wrong, you know?" Riiiggghhttt. Looks like I'm still single. mega FML

#20742848
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43512) - you deserved it (3961)

On 06/23/2013 at 3:39pm - love - by kittyfiddlernono (woman) - Bulgaria (Pernik)

Today, I took mah cat to the vet. The creepy vet looked me in the eyes and said, ( This isn't the only pussy I'll be checking out today. ) FML

#20742647
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51673) - you deserved it (3678)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by o_O (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today... it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnome in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras...hich I thought had deterred the idiot... until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnome on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. fat FML

#20742609
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60091) - you deserved it (3932)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today..!! I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on ma lonely nigts!! Once at te adult store..!! I also grabbed a brtday card to make it seem te dildo wasn't fir me!! At te register..!! te casier looked at me and said..!! "For God's sake..!! save yourself some money!! I already know it's fir you." FML

#20742274
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58829) - you deserved it (22941)

On 06/23/2013 at 6:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walkd in on mah grandma playing with herself. Every time I close mah eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. mega FML

#20739366
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69123) - you deserved it (6570)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, Mah Mom Cut Off The Legs Of All Mah Pants, Cuz She Says I Don't Show Enough Skin Fir Guys. I'm Now Forced To Wear Jaggedly Cut Shorts That Barely Cover Mah Thighs Until I Can Buy New Ones. FML

#20739324
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51185) - you deserved it (4991)

On 06/21/2013 at 4:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

TODAY,HILE BAGGING MY GROCERIES AT A STORE, A LADY CAME OVER TO ME, TOOK A GOOD LOOK AT THE FOOD I'D BOUGHT, PICKED OUT AN ITEM AN PUTTED IT IN HER BAG. WHEN I CONFRONTED HER, SHE CALLED SECURITY ON ME AN TOLD THEM I WANTED TO STEAL HER STUFF. I GOT THROWN OUT AN SHE WALKED AWAY WITH A SMRK. FML

#20736762
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49716) - you deserved it (3221)

On 06/20/2013 at 4:35am - money - by what_the_hell (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)



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