OmniFML

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OmniFML

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 March 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6699
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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OmniFML's page activity

Visits<b>Sunflora219</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 11:08pm<b>george_s_4</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 8:21am<b>Curls4life</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 8:18pm<b>holymacabre</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 8:25pm<b>ilikevideosgames</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 2:59am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 9:00am<b>Kubo12</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 12:17pm<b>Wondermage</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 2:17am<b>madi113</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 11:46pm<b>carissaball</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 2:37am<b>Layified</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 5:21pm<b>pait_loves_shane</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 10:02pm<b>sadieloretta</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 4:46am<b>Amiiii</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 1:51pm<b>hobbit_shire</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 7:47pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 6:09pm<b>itssnotfunny</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 3:59pm<b>me127</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 8:59pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 3:00pm

OmniFML's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

OmniFML's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter asked me what is the youngest age at which you should start having sex. Being a good mom, I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh... shoot," and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML

by blazer / 06/29/2009 at 8:40pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML

by dad / 06/29/2009 at 12:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said "What are you baby-sitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on the giraffe yelling at the top of his lungs. FML

by merkris / 06/29/2009 at 11:41am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting at the park with a friend when a small child approached us. Just as moved off the bridge to let the kid play, he asked if I would like to play the troll under the bridge. I laughed and said no thanks, to which the kid responded 'but there is nobody else ugly enough.' FML

by failure / 06/27/2009 at 9:00pm / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Kids

Today, I finally had sex with a girl I've been dating for over a month. Before we got started she told me not to worry about the birth control because she could handle that. So after we finished I asked her what kind of birth control she used. She said she meditated. FML

by UrbanCass / 06/25/2009 at 7:44pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2009 at 12:01am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was in line at a checkout. I have quite a few facial piercings and 1/2" gauges in my ears. The very heavy cashier asks how big my gauges are and then starts telling me about how she recently got her clitoris pierced and how sometimes she has orgasms behind the register. FML

by toomuchmetal / 06/24/2009 at 3:17pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML

by BadBribe / 06/24/2009 at 3:15pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my brother and I found a little bird that couldn't fly. While trying to convince my mom that it couldn't fly so we could keep it, I lightly tossed it in the air and it landed a few feet in front of me. Then my cat grabbed it and ate it. FML

by Ketchup / 06/22/2009 at 2:06am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2009 at 4:14am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was in the park for a walk when a ball rolled to my feet. Figuring it belonged to the kids not far off, I wound back and kicked. The ball had actually been kicked by someone else for their dog to chase and I ended up punting it in the head. FML

by steph / 06/01/2009 at 12:50am / Canada (British Columbia) / Money

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

by soooyeah / 04/30/2009 at 8:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy