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Omfgitsmia

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Omfgitsmia
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1429
  • Number of comments : 118
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Omfgitsmia's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

#17874410
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23493) - you deserved it (5803)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

#17839569
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18837) - you deserved it (42229)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML

#17839150
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27365) - you deserved it (13571)

On 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by Yuuucky (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my mom called me a bastard, told me I should run away, and said I don't deserve to live in her house. All because I didn't use a plate when I ate a Poptart. FML

#17832717
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27812) - you deserved it (3701)

On 09/25/2011 at 7:23pm - misc - by sadkid - United States

Today, I went to see my boyfriend with the intention of breaking up with him. Instead I discovered that he lost his job today and has to move back in with his parents. I can't bring myself to dump someone who's already crying about his horrible day. Now I have to comfort my soon-to-be ex. FML

#17780989
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23793) - you deserved it (9179)

On 09/19/2011 at 3:31pm - love - by stuck (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, on my way to a concert, some guy told me I had cool sunglasses. I was about to thank him until he punched me in the face. I woke up with no sunglasses and no ticket. FML

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24028) - you deserved it (6478)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML

#17749622
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29830) - you deserved it (5467)

On 09/15/2011 at 3:34am - health - by Scott - United States (California)

Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML

#17613922
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22944) - you deserved it (6556)

On 08/29/2011 at 5:19pm - health - by Stan - United States (California)

Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML

#17613922
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22944) - you deserved it (6556)

On 08/29/2011 at 5:19pm - health - by Stan - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me. She took everything, including the kidney I gave her a year ago. FML

#17417239
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54746) - you deserved it (5497)

On 08/09/2011 at 10:50am - love - by aliixmaee - United States

Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML

#17375446
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44311) - you deserved it (2171)

On 08/05/2011 at 4:41am - misc - by thehumanshield - United States (California)

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
502 comments

I agree, your life sucks (117027) - you deserved it (5933)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he owes me. In the memo line, he wrote "for swallowing". Now I have to go cash it. FML

#16577397
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30983) - you deserved it (6079)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Patrick R - United States (Texas)

Today, I received a friend request on Facebook from my biological father, who I have never met in my life. As I was scrolling through his hobbies and interests, I saw "Drinking," "Black women with big asses," and "Getting laid, lol." FML

#16344639
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43511) - you deserved it (3290)

On 05/25/2011 at 4:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)



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