About Omegadolly : If it's a penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, where does the other penny go?
Omegadolly's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Omegadolly's favorite FMLs
by Husband / 11/22/2016 at 9:33am / United States (District of Columbia) / Holidays
Today, my relationship with my family is so bad that when someone burst into my house without ringing the doorbell, my first assumption was, "Oh God I hope it's not my mum visiting!" rather than, "Oh God, it's a burglar!" It was actually my mother-in-law, and I was truly relieved. FML
by saracenslament / 11/22/2016 at 6:47am / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting in the restaurant waiting for my blind date to come. I had sat for an hour until I finally got fed up and went to leave when at the same time the guy at the table next to me stood up to leave too. I noticed he had been sitting alone. Turns out he was my date. FML
by kill the audience / 11/10/2016 at 12:51pm / United States (Delaware) / Love
Today, I was taking a break in my work truck when I saw a huge swarm of bees flying my way. I have a hand crank window so I started cranking it up as fast as I could and the knob snapped off before it closed and I got stung by the whole swarm before I could get out. FML
by Rekt / 11/10/2016 at 12:40am / United States (Washington) / Work
by timetraveler1854 / 11/02/2016 at 8:55pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, while laying in bed with my girlfriend, I felt her grab my manhood through a layer of blankets. I got a bit stiff, just in time for her to clench tight, and pull violently. She didn't know "it" was in her hand, as she was trying to cover herself with the blanket. My manhood is now red and swollen. FML
by 2in longer / 11/01/2016 at 8:57am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by HeadStillHurts / 10/26/2016 at 7:43am / Miscellaneous
by trollbot13 / 10/24/2016 at 5:39am / India (Andhra Pradesh) / Work
Today, there must have been a wasp clinging to my front door because when I walked outside, it dropped between my glasses and my face and began stinging me all around my eye. I don't know if my eye is more swollen from the stings or from me repeatedly punching myself in the face. FML
by Screamslikeagirl / 09/27/2016 at 3:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up suddenly with giant bugs biting my legs. I screamed, ripped the blanket off the bed and bolted to the bathroom to recover. Turns out it was all a dream, and the person who needed to recover most was my shell-shocked boyfriend who had been sleeping soundly beside me. Sorry, babe. FML
by sweetdreams / 09/18/2016 at 2:39am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on a date with a guy I really like. Everything went well, and then he wanted to kiss me. As he leaned towards me, I got slightly panicky and ducked out of the way, causing him to headbutt the car behind me. Now we know why I'm still a virgin. FML
by RhiannonMuh / 09/09/2016 at 4:01pm / Germany (Bayern) / Love
Today, I finally addressed why my boyfriend started calling me "love bug" since we haven't used pet names in the entirety of our 2 year relationship. His response? "because I love you but you bug the shit out of me. It seemed appropriate." FML
by Jaided_Genetics / 08/17/2016 at 12:20am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by TheHeirofTime / 08/15/2016 at 11:11am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by an unlucky man / 08/05/2016 at 5:37am / United States (California) / Love
Today, whilst tuning my guitar, one of the steel strings snapped and hit me in the face. Now I'm on my way to my first date with the girl of my dreams, and I'm wearing an eye patch and have a thick red line across my face. FML
by Egtat216 / 07/29/2016 at 6:03pm / United Kingdom (Aberdeen City) / Miscellaneous