About OliverGothic : Just a confused soul wandering this vast expanse of dust and rock that we call earth.
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OliverGothic's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/22/2014 at 10:36pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
by Wowthanks / 05/04/2014 at 8:13pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML
by Numbass123 / 05/04/2014 at 1:17pm / United States (Nevada) / Health
Today, after an entire year spent in physical therapy recovering from three knee surgeries, I finally returned to doing light agility exercises and running on a treadmill. When I told my therapist I had never been so happy and proud, he responded with, "This usually only takes 5 months, pussy." FML
by AnonymousAndSad / 04/24/2014 at 7:42pm / United States (Iowa) / Health
by Anonymous / 03/13/2014 at 5:34am / Australia / Intimacy
by Catuser / 03/05/2014 at 10:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, I was standing around, doing nothing. When my coworker pointed this out, I laughed and said, "It's okay, I'm training for a supervisor position!" Guess who was standing right behind me. FML
by sparkrok / 03/05/2014 at 7:36pm / United States (Washington) / Work
by You Are My Sunshine / 02/23/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (California) / Love
by Sodapop40 / 02/22/2014 at 4:21pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by coppervains / 02/22/2014 at 1:13pm / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
by awkward / 02/22/2014 at 12:39am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I went to pick up my goddaughter while her mother went to work. She was being fussy, and I was surprised when she was quiet in the car; I just figured she'd fallen asleep. I got to my house and realized I'd never put her in my car, she was still sitting in my friend's driveway. FML
by lyss / 02/16/2014 at 5:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
Today, while in the prison I work at, I came down with severe digestion issues. Master control probably laughed as they watched me wait at the security gates in a cold sweat, squeezing my ass-cheeks together like an inmate smuggling contraband. FML
by TwistedCherub1 / 02/01/2014 at 5:42pm / United States / Work
by zippersaremoreimportantthansentiments / 02/01/2014 at 3:11am / United States (Alabama) / Love
Today, I decided to dye my hair blue. The result is slightly different than I expected: my white bathroom is now blue, and so are my skin and nails. The only thing that isn't blue is my hair, which is now green. FML
by Anonymous / 01/22/2014 at 10:42pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…