OctoberJade

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Offline (the 11/21/2014 at 12:39am)

OctoberJade

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5455
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About OctoberJade : Message me if you wanna know anything!

OctoberJade's page activity

Visits<b>Cian_1</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 9:42pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 4:42pm<b>nesscafe</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 9:08am<b>Tbearshy</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 8:19am<b>charlielowe</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 6:21am<b>YellowKettleBell</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 11:18pm<b>slingingslasher</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 1:20am<b>imbackwiththeshi</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 9:33pm<b>Ben009</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 12:04am<b>Han1156</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 11:23pm<b>gshocker20</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 10:56pm<b>sunshine41196</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 12:47pm<b>Comet_Candy</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 7:15pm<b>Tucking_Fypo</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 11:34am<b>Trollx</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 12:37pm<b>cnparks1990</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 7:44am<b>livin11</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 2:15am

OctoberJade's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

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OctoberJade's favorite FMLs

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

by jay-frey96 / 11/02/2014 at 10:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

by whotouchedyou1 / 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I complained to the train company online. I filled in information and added several photos as evidence. I only realised later that the photos I attached were nudes. FML

by anona / 07/08/2014 at 12:29pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy

Today, I came home and saw my cat all snuggled up with another cat on the sofa. I thought it was the cutest thing ever, until I remembered that I only have one cat. FML

by Anonymous / 06/28/2014 at 8:09pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals

Today, after having asked me out on Monday, the guy I like angrily cancelled our date because I "hadn't bothered" even talking to him for "several days". One day. You didn't hear from me on Monday. It's now Tuesday. That's one day, dick. FML

by fartbucket51995129565 / 06/10/2014 at 2:29pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, I didn't pay enough attention while sending a music file to be used in a powerful video my class-mates and I made about the Syrian civil war. Instead of a moving classical track, viewers were shown graphic scenes of devastation to the tune of Gangnam Style. FML

by Mortifiedcharityworker / 05/01/2014 at 4:10pm / Austria / Work

Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML

by caught out / 04/26/2014 at 7:29pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, my dad and I got into an argument. When I was proven wrong, he said, "Good job, genius." I shot back the first thing that popped into my head, which was "I am not a genius!" He laughed and says that if I die before him, he's having that engraved on my tombstone. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2014 at 5:42pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my teenage daughter tried to convince me that the UK is a part of Canada. After I pulled out a map to prove her wrong, she got all angry and defensive, and said that nobody's perfect at "geometry". My daughter is an idiot. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2014 at 5:21pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, my toddler found my daughter's recorder from 3rd grade and figured out how to play the highest pitch note. Of course, my daughter pulls out her trombone to have a jam session. And I'm out of ibuprofen. FML

by missmom83 / 04/24/2014 at 11:28am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, my drug addict of a roommate convinced herself my red kitten was Pennywise the clown in disguise waiting to kill her, and hit him over the head with a pan. FML

by Blaisey / 04/21/2014 at 1:25pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML

by Sue Ellen / 04/21/2014 at 11:43am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy