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OceanBlueSea

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OceanBlueSea
  • Town/Country : Bumfuck, Egypt, Egypt
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 19 January 1996 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 2104
  • Number of comments : 98
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About OceanBlueSea : Here are some quotes that amuse me:
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."

"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak."

"Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich."

"Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason."

"Crowded elevators smell different to midgets."

"Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy."

"He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame."

As I said before, here are SOME....it would take way too long for all of em'.

OceanBlueSea's last visitors

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OceanBlueSea's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of OceanBlueSea's badges

OceanBlueSea's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

#20695159
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59567) - you deserved it (4755)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while shopping for dresses, I found a really cute one that fit me really well, but not at all in the breast area. My grandma screamed "buy her some titties!" Everyone in the store looked at me. FML

#20693039
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46120) - you deserved it (3793)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:39pm - misc - by no boobies - United States

Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML

#20692945
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41943) - you deserved it (2868)

On 05/29/2013 at 11:21am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my parents yelled at me for 10 minutes without letting me get a word in edgeways for getting a 48 on my test. They took my phone, unplugged my internet, and took my car keys. They wouldn't listen no matter how many times I told them, "It was out of 50". It actually was. FML

#20692668
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61874) - you deserved it (3261)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:31am - misc - by :) - United States

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML

#20692661
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60806) - you deserved it (13258)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, an elderly woman couldn't afford all of her groceries at the checkout so she started to take out a few things. I offered to pay for her groceries; she thanked me and walked out. An onlooker then came up to me and told me that she does it to someone every week. FML

#20692497
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50698) - you deserved it (5146)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:49am - money - by $$$ - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to make a poster for social studies. I decided to write "Nice ass" in hieroglyphics. Turns out my teacher can read hieroglyphics. FML

#20691781
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21971) - you deserved it (45759)

On 05/28/2013 at 7:42pm - work - by Amber - United States (California)

Today, I confessed to my girlfriend that I cheated on her. She told me that she needed time to think, and left. An hour later, her dad came by with a baseball bat. FML

#20691094
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21732) - you deserved it (117693)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61576) - you deserved it (13918)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was visiting my new in-laws for the first time. During an awkward silence, I took my phone and figured I'd send my friend a text jokingly saying "Mayday, mayday! Somebody save me!" My mood lightened up a little and I felt quite well until my mother-in-law's phone beeped. Yep. FML

#20690847
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21596) - you deserved it (41662)

On 05/28/2013 at 7:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, while working at Walmart, I was walking the sales floor and passed the end of an aisle. I saw a customer coming at me from the corner of my eye, so I jumped backwards. I hit a display case, and watched it topple over before turning to apologize to the customer. It was a ladder. FML

#20690744
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32249) - you deserved it (8075)

On 05/28/2013 at 3:11am - work - by Olerbia - United States

Today, I was sending intimate pictures to my girlfriend and accidentally sent one to my best friend. He sent me one back. FML

#20690661
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53423) - you deserved it (31611)

On 05/28/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Abrams52 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my grandma's chihuahua was run over while I was taking her for a walk. She later whispered to me, "It should have been you." FML

#20690610
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51194) - you deserved it (6029)

On 05/28/2013 at 1:05am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was working at a place where if you're tipped, you sing. After a lady paid for her ice cream, she pulled out 5 dollars. Thinking it was a tip, I took it, and sang the song. She didn't mean to tip me. I was stopped by the woman slapping me. FML

#20690062
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40703) - you deserved it (13067)

On 05/27/2013 at 8:56pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got to wash my ex-wife's dishes at her apartment while her new boyfriend played with my daughter in the living room. FML

#20689927
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50232) - you deserved it (10710)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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