OceanBlueSea

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OceanBlueSea

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 19 January 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11313
  • Number of comments : 98
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About OceanBlueSea : Here are some quotes that amuse me:
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."

"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak."

"Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich."

"Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason."

"Crowded elevators smell different to midgets."

"Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy."

"He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame."

As I said before, here are SOME....it would take way too long for all of em'.

OceanBlueSea's page activity

Visits<b>j_mitchell25</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 2:47am<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 10:24am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 7:53pm<b>mzcupcakez</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 4:06pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 8:10am<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 7:07am<b>rawpace</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 9:27pm<b>dalink</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 5:17pm<b>blakesinthelake</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 3:45pm<b>thehuntress309</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 10:31pm<b>kievking</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 11:09pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 9:08pm<b>scottishchris</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 8:13am<b>aw3som3sauc3</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 11:44pm<b>deathhill3</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 12:49pm<b>TEZZ</b> - the 12/21/2012 at 10:53am<b>Ffuuu</b> - the 11/10/2012 at 6:30pm<b>IntoTheClouds</b> - the 09/12/2012 at 12:02pm

OceanBlueSea's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of OceanBlueSea's badges

OceanBlueSea's favorite FMLs

Today, while shopping for dresses, I found a really cute one that fit me really well, but not at all in the breast area. My grandma screamed "buy her some titties!" Everyone in the store looked at me. FML

by no boobies / 05/29/2013 at 12:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2013 at 11:21am / United States / Health

Today, my parents yelled at me for 10 minutes without letting me get a word in edgeways for getting a 48 on my test. They took my phone, unplugged my internet, and took my car keys. They wouldn't listen no matter how many times I told them, "It was out of 50". It actually was. FML

by :) / 05/29/2013 at 3:31am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2013 at 3:17am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, an elderly woman couldn't afford all of her groceries at the checkout so she started to take out a few things. I offered to pay for her groceries; she thanked me and walked out. An onlooker then came up to me and told me that she does it to someone every week. FML

by $$$ / 05/29/2013 at 12:49am / Australia (New South Wales) / Money

Today, I had to make a poster for social studies. I decided to write "Nice ass" in hieroglyphics. Turns out my teacher can read hieroglyphics. FML

by Amber / 05/28/2013 at 7:42pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I confessed to my girlfriend that I cheated on her. She told me that she needed time to think, and left. An hour later, her dad came by with a baseball bat. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:51pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I was visiting my new in-laws for the first time. During an awkward silence, I took my phone and figured I'd send my friend a text jokingly saying "Mayday, mayday! Somebody save me!" My mood lightened up a little and I felt quite well until my mother-in-law's phone beeped. Yep. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 7:12am / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working at Walmart, I was walking the sales floor and passed the end of an aisle. I saw a customer coming at me from the corner of my eye, so I jumped backwards. I hit a display case, and watched it topple over before turning to apologize to the customer. It was a ladder. FML

by Olerbia / 05/28/2013 at 3:11am / United States / Work

Today, I was sending intimate pictures to my girlfriend and accidentally sent one to my best friend. He sent me one back. FML

by Abrams52 / 05/28/2013 at 1:44am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, my grandma's chihuahua was run over while I was taking her for a walk. She later whispered to me, "It should have been you." FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 1:05am / United States / Animals

Today, I was working at a place where if you're tipped, you sing. After a lady paid for her ice cream, she pulled out 5 dollars. Thinking it was a tip, I took it, and sang the song. She didn't mean to tip me. I was stopped by the woman slapping me. FML

by anonymous / 05/27/2013 at 8:56pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I got to wash my ex-wife's dishes at her apartment while her new boyfriend played with my daughter in the living room. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2013 at 7:34pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, my in-laws came for dinner. My 5-year-old son chose that as the perfect time to say, "Good girls always swallow!" when my daughter coughed up some of her food. I have no idea where he heard it, but my mother-in-law blamed me, and my wife had to convince her not to call CPS on me. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2013 at 6:15pm / United States (Utah) / Kids