OceanBlueSea

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OceanBlueSea

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 19 January 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11348
  • Number of comments : 98
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About OceanBlueSea : Here are some quotes that amuse me:
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."

"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak."

"Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich."

"Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason."

"Crowded elevators smell different to midgets."

"Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy."

"He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame."

As I said before, here are SOME....it would take way too long for all of em'.

OceanBlueSea's page activity

Visits<b>j_mitchell25</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 2:47am<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 10:24am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 7:53pm<b>mzcupcakez</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 4:06pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 8:10am<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 7:07am<b>rawpace</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 9:27pm<b>dalink</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 5:17pm<b>blakesinthelake</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 3:45pm<b>thehuntress309</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 10:31pm<b>kievking</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 11:09pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 9:08pm<b>scottishchris</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 8:13am<b>aw3som3sauc3</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 11:44pm<b>deathhill3</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 12:49pm<b>TEZZ</b> - the 12/21/2012 at 10:53am<b>Ffuuu</b> - the 11/10/2012 at 6:30pm<b>IntoTheClouds</b> - the 09/12/2012 at 12:02pm

OceanBlueSea's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of OceanBlueSea's badges

OceanBlueSea's favorite FMLs

Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML

by Me / 06/03/2013 at 1:32am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me screaming, "My precious!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2013 at 6:36pm / United Kingdom (Thurrock) / Miscellaneous

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after buying 3 new alarm clocks, I finally decided to video tape myself all night to figure out if my alarm clock was broken or if I was oversleeping. Turns out I wake up around 4am each day and turn them off without remembering. FML

by sleepy momma / 06/02/2013 at 2:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally hit someone's car while at the supermarket. I left a note, went shopping, and when I came back my windows were shattered, my tires were slashed and "f you" was written on my windshield. FML

by anonymous / 06/02/2013 at 1:20am / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML

by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina / 06/01/2013 at 12:31am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2013 at 12:16am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, some jackass in an Iron Man mask nailed me in the head with a quarter while I was helping other customers. Minimum wage isn't worth this crap. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2013 at 12:05am / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, my boyfriend "finally figured out" that he couldn't possibly be the father of my child, and publicly broke up with me. When I reminded him that I was already pregnant when we first met, he "extra" broke up with me for making him look stupid. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2013 at 11:28pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML

by heyyoitsapotato / 05/30/2013 at 10:35pm / United States / Work

Today, I was at my nursing internship. After helping a patient get into bed, I began to walk out of the room when I heard him say to another nurse, "Now that was a king sized lady". To make things even better, she didn't understand him the first time and I got to hear him say it again. FML

by melody91 / 05/30/2013 at 9:54pm / United States (Texas) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be funny to go to the Apple store and log me on to Facebook on every single computer. FML

by Terminator101101 / 05/30/2013 at 7:06pm / United States (Nevada) / Love

Today, we had a get together for work at a restaurant I've never heard of. After spending all week trying to make a good impression on my new boss and co-workers, I showed up in a pair of shorts and a Star Wars T-Shirt. Turns out it was one of the fanciest restaurants in town. FML

by Lizzie / 05/30/2013 at 6:32pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

by life insurance for 1 / 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Kids