OceanBlueSea

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OceanBlueSea

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 19 January 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9554
  • Number of comments : 98
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About OceanBlueSea : Here are some quotes that amuse me:
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."

"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak."

"Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich."

"Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason."

"Crowded elevators smell different to midgets."

"Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy."

"He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame."

As I said before, here are SOME....it would take way too long for all of em'.

OceanBlueSea's page activity

Visits<b>j_mitchell25</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 2:47am<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 10:24am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 7:53pm<b>mzcupcakez</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 4:06pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 8:10am<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 7:07am<b>rawpace</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 9:27pm<b>dalink</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 5:17pm<b>blakesinthelake</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 3:45pm<b>thehuntress309</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 10:31pm<b>kievking</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 11:09pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 9:08pm<b>scottishchris</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 8:13am<b>aw3som3sauc3</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 11:44pm<b>deathhill3</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 12:49pm<b>TEZZ</b> - the 12/21/2012 at 10:53am<b>Ffuuu</b> - the 11/10/2012 at 6:30pm<b>IntoTheClouds</b> - the 09/12/2012 at 12:02pm

OceanBlueSea's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of OceanBlueSea's badges

OceanBlueSea's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I had a threesome. He suggested we have another guy. It ended up devolving into a twosome, and I wasn't part of it. FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2013 at 2:39am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, at my job at my tattoo parlor, yet another client offered to pay for his tattoo by "letting" me sleep with him. This client happens to be my boyfriend's best friend, whose girlfriend is having me tattoo his name on her wrist next week. FML

by notkatvond / 06/19/2013 at 2:46pm / United States / Work

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

by CatLover<3 / 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML

by No money, mo' problems / 06/18/2013 at 6:01pm / United States / Money

Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML

by Not a day over 35 / 06/18/2013 at 9:06am / United States (Alaska) / Work

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

by imarriedanaxemurderer / 06/18/2013 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, as I was walking home, I noticed a man and a woman arguing in their driveway. To avoid an awkward situation, I crossed the street. I then had to walk past a creepy guy watering his plants in his underwear while looking directly at me. FML

by ProAwkward / 06/18/2013 at 12:07am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

by young grandpa / 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm / United States / Holidays

Today, my grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking my STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 1:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went fishing with my dad. I figured, since we were out on the dock, I may as well get rid of my farmer's tan. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up to a fishing net draped over me. I now have a fishnet pattern down the front of my body. FML

by jhughes1997 / 06/16/2013 at 9:39pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter found out what happens when my husband watches Mythbusters and doesn't heed the disclaimer to "Not try this at home." He feels bad about her cut face, but says he's proud he can throw a playing card that hard. FML

by Married2handsome / 06/16/2013 at 7:58pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my best friend called me a moron for disputing her belief that Canada is in South America. FML

by not a brain cell in sight / 06/16/2013 at 4:20pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML

by idontwanttoknow / 06/16/2013 at 7:37am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I got more pleasure from scratching a bug bite than I've gotten from my boyfriend in 2 whole years. FML

by sex deprived / 06/16/2013 at 1:10am / United States / Intimacy